A reluctant sword smith, women tend to trip over their tongues as he passes by. usually reviled by other males for having mythical penis girth. Usually compared to god like figures such as Zeus and Thor.
one of the greatest Jared's was delivered to planet earth in 1975 via non earth like space craft - is also allergic to Kryptonite.
probably the best all round rooter in the solar system, women have been known to gush uncontrollably and pass out at the mere sight of his powerful index and middle fingers - so he wears ski gloves in public - or hand prosthesis.
Once pointed at chuck Norris and Barry Dawson in a pub and told them to leave, Barry ran, Chuck fell to his knees and orgasmed uncontrollably - he wasn't wearing any gloves that day.
Everyone should nickname their penis Jared.
one of the greatest Jared's was delivered to planet earth in 1975 via non earth like space craft - is also allergic to Kryptonite.
probably the best all round rooter in the solar system, women have been known to gush uncontrollably and pass out at the mere sight of his powerful index and middle fingers - so he wears ski gloves in public - or hand prosthesis.
Once pointed at chuck Norris and Barry Dawson in a pub and told them to leave, Barry ran, Chuck fell to his knees and orgasmed uncontrollably - he wasn't wearing any gloves that day.
Everyone should nickname their penis Jared.
Fuck! I thought he was at the fortress of solitude! I better leave town, I heard he wants to fuck my wife and sister!
"Jared" I thought HE was the god of thunder, maybe he's Thor's Grandfather?
"Jared" I thought HE was the god of thunder, maybe he's Thor's Grandfather?
by Rooster 00027 May 28, 2011
by UrbanDictionaryUser12 April 15, 2022
Wilbur Soot's biggest rival in love. He is known for his muscles, fashion sense and for stealing Wilbur's girl.
by teodoramaria1310 February 1, 2021
A really sweet, creative and super adorable guy! It's hard not to smile when you're around him. He can be kinda shy, but once he opens up he's like a whole new person! He also is very stylish and is in to fashion. He's also crazy talented in art and makes me green with envy.
by Natella November 16, 2013
The most amazing boy alive. Best smile, laugh, personality, body,...everything. The total package. Impossible not to fall in love with. After one kiss, there's quite literally no going back. Without a doubt, the best lover I have ever had. Simply put, this boy is perfect.
Jared, is the love of my life.
by Camilio December 6, 2010