Jake Piper's first law

The mighty honourable Jake Piper has 4 laws, and his first is simple.

Forget the minus.

Fred: "Ah man I was doing this question and I got -17 seconds, what do I do?"
Tim: "Use Jake Piper's first law, you'll be fine"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's second law

Jake Piper's second law requires a bit of thinking.

Infinitely accurate time.

So time could be e^3 days, etc.

Perry: "Yo, what's the time right now?"
James: "Oh, five Pi seconds past 12."
Perry: "Wait, that's way too accurate, right?"
James: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's second law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's third law

Jake Piper's third law is extremely simple.

Just remember it.

Ian: "Damn man, I just cannot think of the capital of Mexico right now."
Rasheed: "Use Jake Piper's third law."

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's fourth law

The last of his laws, it states:
There can only be three laws.

The law is a certified law.

Connor: "Hey man, I used Jake Piper's fifth law here and-"
Daniel: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's fourth law. There's no fifth law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Evan’s Musician

A creepy sex pest

Jake Evan’s musician is a creepy sex pest

by S_Ly_Sings December 1, 2024

That’s Jake

That’s lame like that’s Jake

Yo I can’t go to the lake that’s Jake asf

by Dk—bay June 13, 2021

It’s Jake

A substitution for the saying “it’s cool” or “I’m cool.

Person A: “Yo my bad I was kinda saying that a little to much last night”

Person B: “it’s Jake”.

Person A: “ Who’s tryna say that on some type tn?”

Person B: “I’m Jake”

by HanTypeTiming March 29, 2026