Instagram 

The exact amount a wannabe hipster weighs.

Person 1:That dude is such a hipster

Person 2: He weighs an instagram

Instagram by TheRandomKid October 12, 2012

Instagram 

Something that won't fix your ugly face...

Kid 1: Hey, check it out! I just got Instagram.
Kid 2: Well you still look ugly...

Instagram by echoandramen December 18, 2012

Instagram 

Social network where food and drinks meet each other, become friends and sometimes hook up.

-Ice tea: Hey, sweetie. I saw some of your pics on your human's Instagram and you sure look tasty.
-Pizza slice: Stop it! I'm blushing! Here's my number. Call me!

Instagram by Eyeye April 10, 2013

Instagram 

Instagram: Pretentious, overused app that purchasing may cause feelings of hipster-ism, false sense of being artistic when taking mobile photos. When used with your mobile device, add grain, "vintage" filters, and corny Polaroid borders, with the utmost laziness.

Hipster: Check my Instagram uploads to see multiple shitty pictures of my dog, and food with vintage filters. I consider myself to be a photographer and creative because I purchased an app that millions of other people use. Learn to manipulate photos on photoshop, lighting and ISO settings? Puh-lease.

Photographer: *Dies*

Instagram by MBhatesIG September 9, 2012

Instagram 

A photo sharing app that allows you to spill virtual coffee all over your pictures to make them the hippest thing 2016 has ever seen.

12 year old: You have an Instagram? I LOVE INSTA!! OMG follow me!! My last photo got like 18 likes!

Instagram by satansgoldfish June 17, 2016

Instagram 

It is a social media app made for drug dealers.

Tim: Jimmy have you checked Instagram?

Jimmy: I thought that was the official druggy's app?

Instagram by CreatorofMind January 19, 2021

Instagram 

An app in which adolescent people endeavor to post nothing but selfies and two year old memes.

"I just Instagrammed a selfie with my boring friends! #swag #pro #hot"

Instagram by Pineapp|es January 25, 2014