a variotion on the tea bag. while squating over a woman, forcefully squat in a downward motion untill the nut sack impacts the eye of the woman resulting in a black eye.
i Guillotined my girl friend last night and now she can't go to work
by darren_levine August 14, 2008
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A 'practical joke' that involves lifting the seat of a toilet, and intricately defecating on the front lip of the bowl. You then delicately place the toilet seat on top on the freshly laid nugget, and evacuate the stall.

Ideally, your intended victim will come along to enjoy their peaceful abulution, drop their pants and proceed to sit down.

The result of their bodyweight on the toilet seat will sever a section of turd and eject it like Mary Antoinette's head into the victims awaiting pants.

Everything going to plan, you will have successfully shat in someone's pantaloons while they are wearing them. And probably irrevocably burned any bridges of friendship in the process.
Mark laid the guillotine in the camps mess toilet. Now they have taken all the seats away since we clearly can't be trusted.
by C Spiceyweiner June 4, 2018
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v. to hide a boner putting your penis in the natural/straight-up position. The penis log is well hidden and unnoticed, but the head exceeds the part where your belt fits...if someone lifts your shirt, they'll see your head saying hi
i had to guillotine my penis so my teacher didn't notice my boner when he asked me to pass up to the blackoboard...
by Puhercules May 8, 2010
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An unpleasant scenario in which a guy zips his fly up too quickly after urinating, thereby catching the head of the penis with the zipper.

See also: penis fly trap
"OW MOTHERFUCK" - guillotine victim #3185
by scout01 September 16, 2013
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V. or N.

During the course of fellatio, the forceful but willing removal of one's phallic tip, usually running simultaneously with male climax. The action is initiated through an upward thrust to fellater's lower jaw, causing the abrupt closure of the mandible, severing the penile head from the base.
The guillotine is a once in a lifetime experience, i.e. "I'm saving my guillotine for my wedding night...."
by The gentleman_4.50 May 9, 2008
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A 'practical joke' that involves lifting the seat of a toilet, and intricately defecating on the front lip of the bowl. You then delicately place the toilet seat on top on the freshly laid nugget, and evacuate the stall.

Ideally, your intended victim will come along to enjoy their peaceful ablution, drop their pants and proceed to sit down.

The result of their body weight on the toilet seat will sever a section of turd and eject it like Mary Antoinette's head into the victims awaiting pants.

Everything going to plan, you will have successfully shat in someone's pantaloons while they are wearing them. And probably irrevocably burned any bridges of friendship in the process.
Mark laid the guillotine in the camps mess toilet. Now they have taken all the seats away since we clearly can't be trusted.
by C Spiceyweiner June 5, 2018
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When you French kiss your girl and uppercut her jaw
"Yo james I hit my girl with "The Guillotine"
"Oh shit yeah todd"
by Fozzagain June 7, 2019
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