Thomas Friedman

Thomas Friedman is an ex-pornstar and op-ed writer for the New York Times. Friedman is a 'radical centrist, and writes from the point of view of the creamy middle of the political spectrum. Like other journalistic hacks, he believes that bipartisanship for the sake of bipartisanship is the greatest good politicians should strive for, regardless of the outcome. He is also known for his advocacy of a 'Third Party' candidacy for president, despite the fact that most of his political views are already represented by Centrist Democrats and President Obama.

Friedman is often criticized for his bizarre writing style. As Matt Taibbi famously put it: "He has an anti-ear, and it's absolutely infallible; he is a Joyce or a Flaubert in reverse, incapable of rendering even the smallest details without genius."

Friedman is the author of "The World is Flat, which is wrong, because the Earth is actually round.

Guy #1: Did you read today's Thomas Friedman op-ed? He was talking about how a Paan vendor in Mumbai told him that globalization is like an inverted ice cream cone with a sizzling steak on top of it with a wireless internet connection. I've got no clue what the hell he's talking about.

Guy #2: No, I don't read Thomas Friedman. I'm not a lobbyist or a corporate CEO.

by Ufotofu9 August 5, 2011

Holy Fucking Chicken-Fried Shit Patties

An exclamation of surprise akin to "holy shit," designed for situations or events for which it would be necessary to use something crazier than "holy fucking shit."

Max: "Hey look, you're ex is making out with that guy you hate!"
Me: "Holy fucking chicken-fried shit patties!"

by Sanitariumchild420 March 9, 2011

fried the wrench

if you fry the wrench, you screwed up extremely badly. it can be used basically at anytime though just to sound awesome

Lugi: i set my favorite robe on fire while smoking an ivory pipe last night

Carlo: you saucepan, you totally fried the wrench

by hanzisaucebot August 17, 2011

Friedemann Stöffler

Er ist der wohl beste Buchautor den die Welt je gesehen hat. Einen besserern wie ihn Gibt es nicht. Friedemann wird schon seit Jahren von den Schülern eines Gymnasiums in Baden Würtemberg verheiligt. Wer nicht an den heiligen Friedemann glaubt wurde sofort von dem Heiligen Ferber geköpft. Dieses Gesetz wurde bis 2005 befolgt, bis die heilige Bettina in die Schule kam. Mit ihrer schreklichen Stimme und unasuhaltbarer Disziplin wollte niemand etwas mit ihr zu tun haben.

Seitdem herscht in der Schule wieder Frieden und jeder hasst bettina. Friedemann ist 2018 leider von uns gegangen und hat die Schule verlassen
Alle schüler haben am Verlassungstag getrauert. Wer dies nicht gemacht hat, wurde von Ferber geköpft.

Jedermann weiß Friedemann ist alman
Nicht jeder ist so krass wie Friedemann Stöffler
Wenn ich groß bin will ich wie Stöffi sein

by Friedemann Stöffler April 9, 2020

Kentucky fried

The description of someone who is ferociously fried.

Person 1: “American nazis invaded Czechoslovakia in 1982”
Person 2: “Bro, you’re actually Kentucky fried as fuck”

by TickleThomson May 6, 2022

Fried Dough Shitstorm

When you eat too much fried dough at a carnival and just can't make it to the port-a-potty. See "chocolate rain".

Unicorn: We're sorry, you're fried dough shitstorm ruined our utopian society. Farewell forever.
Donkey: Blue ribbon bitches!

by Kestutis October 20, 2010

Marty Friedman

One of the best lead guitar players in the world. Marty Friedman played in Cacophony with his friend and legendary guitarist Jason Becker. Martys leads will tear any whimps head off. Marty friedman also played in the legendary speed metal band Megadeth, Releasing legendary thrash album Rust in Peace. Unfortunately, Marty no longer plays metal, but has moved on to J pop.

One of the best heavy metal guitarists of his time.

by Daniel May 13, 2005