Fed-Ex

When you put your package on an unsuspecting victim's shoulder.

A variation of tea bagging, but the perpetrator keeps his nutsack inside of his clothes.

"I Fed-ex-ed the shit outta Ray Ray's ho while she was passed on on the toilet last night!"

by Myjohnsonsmagic December 18, 2008

Fed-Ex

When you're fed up with your ex, or psycho-ex

She keeps threatening to tell my girlfriend about our ex sex, brah! I'm Fed-Ex.

by catfight12 January 8, 2009

fed-ex

a female evaluating a males "package"

Rexy fed-exed Shawn's package.

by Rexie January 16, 2013

fed-ex

when meetin up with an ex-girlfriend/ love/ one nighter you realise that your mates were correct and she was actually a fat mother huberd!!

matt-wasnt that your ex?
me-yes, yes it was!!!
matt-she was fat!!!
me-yes, you could say she was my fed-ex

by Mr.Rickus November 17, 2006

fed-ex

The ex you wish you could send away.

My fed-ex keeps calling me. Wish he would just leave town.

by nicnac29 March 13, 2011

Fed-ex

An agent of "Big Brother" whom you're no longer "bros" wif.

Having a Fed-ex can be a real double-edged sword --- on da one hand, if you two parted ways amicably, he might be willing to "pull some strings" wif da higher government mucky-mucks on your behalf. But on da other hand, if said breakup was NOT overly pleasant, it could mean dat said stuffed-shirt intel-rep could very likely possess certain knowledge and/or power dat he could use to "make things warm for you".
P.S. A third situation could also be da case if said former heart-throb is now actually an "ex-Fed" --- as in, he's no longer working a government job. Depending on which fellow-officials he knew during his employment and/or why his "lofty" position was terminated, he might or night not still have significant "pull" wif his cronies in Washington, and thus his "heat-creating" powers over you could vary greatly.

by QuacksO March 16, 2023

Fed Ex Deluxe

The occurence of two males rubbing their genetalia (package) together in full frontal position.

Guy 1: I was so hammered last night all i can remeber is having a Fed Ex Deluxe with Steve.

Guy 2: Huh, well did you enjoy it?

Guy 1: Uhh i had mixed emotions... i don't really want to talk about it right now.

Guy 2: Its ok, Steve is pretty persuasive.

Guy 1: Thanks for understanding.

by Balls in Moonlight September 19, 2009