Independent contractors brought in by upper management under the auspices of "streamlining work flow", but in actuality to suggest what positions can be eliminated thus reducing headcount and overhead for purposes of downsizing.
In the movie "Office Space" the characters referred to as "The Bobs" are classic examples of chainsaw consultants. The main character avoids being fired through a combination of unexpected brutal honesty about his lack of passion for his position, and also engendering camaraderie with those sent to determine if his
job is really necessary.
job is really necessary.
by Cale Dempster December 18, 2008
Get the chainsaw consultant mug.The act of telling your client you know how to "grab the low hanging fruit" or that task "is like trying to rearrange the deck furniture on the Titanic." One then charges a ton of money to the client for something that could have easily been done by a trained monkey. This scam continues to the next client once the original realizes they can do the same work for much cheaper.
I was going to work for a large bank, but then I realized I could do easier work and make more money consulting for the banks, by using meaningless phrases executives love to hear.
by spivtron August 6, 2012
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when you have consumed the amount of alcohol where you have the ability to unlock 100% of your brain. exiting the simulation and entering a separate reality. the border of death but your too deep in the vortex to give a single fuck. nothing matters besides beer at this point. god bless you.
by Ryan Janka February 13, 2021
Get the Consumption Vortex mug.by 666Mike999 August 17, 2006
Get the consultant mug.Consolation success or a consolation achievement is when you put a lot of effort and concentration into achieving something or getting better at something, and only after you've tried for so long that you begin to give up, do things start to "work out" for you. Often, it is more of a slap in the face than a happy acquisition. The consolation comes in giving you your success only because you worked yourself so hard that you gave up and life begins to feel sorry for you. God's way of playing keep away perhaps.
"After so many years in the movie business and his involvement in tonnes of great films, Christopher Plummer only received his first oscar in 2012, at the age of 83. That consolation success must feel more painful than if he retired with no award at all."
by cursedkid March 31, 2013
Get the Consolation Success mug.A parasite that contributes nothing to the network and is only looking for ways to stay on the payroll. This is the individual at the burger joint that asks “do you want fries with that?” The network Consultant is constantly looking for useless network tweaks to justify his presence at a customer site. Be especially weary of the Euro-trash no talent hack type; this character dazzles senior management with a ridiculous accent all the while unraveling the solid network that’s in place. Network consultants never look at a network as a whole, but only analyze bits and pieces of it. In this manner they always have work do to since the last project they completed broke some other part of the network.
I’m gonna have to give nickel blow jobs in the street to get my self respect back after taking this network consultant job.
If that network consultant was on fire; I wouldn’t piss on him.
If that network consultant was on fire; I wouldn’t piss on him.
by network dog February 14, 2006
Get the Network Consultant mug.When a friend advises another friend on how to best obtain sex and/or sexual acts from a member of the opposite sex.
by Hilly2008 December 9, 2008
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