by Ranchgirls December 10, 2020
Get the Casin hoe mug.An award for individuals who vocally opposed masks and vaccinations in response to COVID-19, and then either ended up in the hospital or died.
Person A: "Did you hear about Doug? He died of COVID last week. His family watched it happen on an iPad. So sad."
Person B: "Wasn't he bragging two weeks ago about injecting horse de-wormer up his asshole when he got diagnosed? That guy was a real Herman Cain Award winner right there."
Person B: "Wasn't he bragging two weeks ago about injecting horse de-wormer up his asshole when he got diagnosed? That guy was a real Herman Cain Award winner right there."
by Y2k September 2, 2021
Get the Herman Cain Award mug.Related Words
carin' • Glen Carin • julia-carin • OSCAR-CARIN • ion be carin • cain • Caris • carina • cain't • cabin fever
Perhaps one of the finest comedians that ever lived, George Carlin defined the word counterculture as we know it today. Pushing the First Amendment as Lenny Bruce did, Carlin always had something to say and if you were easily offended by what he said he would advise you to "GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE". I hope the First Amendment didn't w/ him. I will miss Georgie Porgie…
Most people are not particulary good at anything. George Carlin
If acting was hard for me, I wouldn't do it, it is something that I like to do.
If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.
Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
March 1997 We use up words like "spiritual" so fast in this culture. Twenty years ago "spiritual" had a distinct meaning. But now there's a lot of jack-off thinkers who just love to talk about the spiritual. And there is a lot of bogus -- is "bogosity" a word? It should be -- a lot of bogosity in these spiritual seekers. So you have to find another way to express it. I just call it "how I fit.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
I'm not afraid of heights, I'm just afraid of falling from them.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
If acting was hard for me, I wouldn't do it, it is something that I like to do.
If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.
Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell.
I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
March 1997 We use up words like "spiritual" so fast in this culture. Twenty years ago "spiritual" had a distinct meaning. But now there's a lot of jack-off thinkers who just love to talk about the spiritual. And there is a lot of bogus -- is "bogosity" a word? It should be -- a lot of bogosity in these spiritual seekers. So you have to find another way to express it. I just call it "how I fit.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
I'm not afraid of heights, I'm just afraid of falling from them.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
by BoredOutofMyMind2 June 23, 2008
Get the George Carlin mug.Carni-cooties is after you leave the County Fair or State Fair the creepy feelings you have on your skin. Knowing that you touched the same thing as a carni worker or the freaks that only come outside once a year to go to the fair.
#1 - I feel like there are ticks crawling all over my skin after leaving the fair, it must be the carni -cooties.
#2 - Maddie, DON"T TOUCH ANYTHING UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE WASHED YOU HANDS 5 TIMES!!!!! I think we got some carni-cooties on us.
#2 - Maddie, DON"T TOUCH ANYTHING UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE WASHED YOU HANDS 5 TIMES!!!!! I think we got some carni-cooties on us.
by Mitchell man August 2, 2009
Get the Carni -cooties mug.The CHAD version of Carpe diem (seize the day).
Like YOLO, carpin' all those diems underscores the finite nature of life, the importance of taking risks and not placing unnecessary strain on your tiny brain.
In short: Don't think about it
Like YOLO, carpin' all those diems underscores the finite nature of life, the importance of taking risks and not placing unnecessary strain on your tiny brain.
In short: Don't think about it
"That's because losers look stuff up while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems." - Summer - Rick and Morty (2013) Season 3 episode 2 "Rickmancing the Stone"
by That one dude..!@gh December 3, 2017
Get the carpin' all them diems mug.Since 9/11, he has been the only stand-up comedian worth listening to. If not for him, we would probably have even less of a first ammendment than we have now. His message has always been that if you dont want to hear something, then you don't have to listen.
Oh beautiful, for-smoggy skies, insecticided grain, for strip-mined mountain's magesty, above the asphault plane, america, america, man sheds his waste on thee, and hide the pines with billboard signs, from sea to smoggy sea
by PhatRyan August 24, 2004
Get the george carlin mug.by Simon Says Go Fuck Yourself February 16, 2004
Get the george carlin mug.