The most depraved sexual act known to mankind kept as a hidden secret from Canada to preserve its' innocence. In detail, the ******** are inserted into ******* using the ******* with ******** moose antlers ****** **** ***** maple syrup **** ***** around five times ***** *** ******* until the **** ***** affectionately called "the Mounties" use **** ***** all over the ****. The resulting **** ***** *** ****** are then used as lubricant for ******** **** **** into ****** **** **** with ***** **** **** Stanley Cup.
by EvilLepper February 05, 2010
a sexual act designed to tell a story through symbolic devices: specifically in this case, that story is the history of Canada. As an element of foreplay, the man pours some maple syrup on the woman's body, and licks it off of her abdomen, breasts, nipples, and vulva in that respective order. In honor of Samuel De Champlain's voyage by canoe through Lake Nipissing, the man rubs is penis lengthwise along the woman's vulva, and she bears down hard to spray his genitals with her urine. Then the man and woman perform oral sex on each other, burying their faces in each other's pubic hair, representing the fur trade. The man has intercourse with the woman doggy style, while slapping her buttocks vigorously, representing the French and Indian Wars. He also fists the woman's vagina; however she subsequently fists the man's anus; this exchange represents the War of 1812. After this point in history, Canada is known mostly for participatory, but not pivotal roles in world affairs. Therefore, any combination of missionary position and fingering are used to bring the woman to orgasm, representing the post-WWII prosperity of the country. Finally, the man ejaculates all over the woman's face, representing the sovereignty of Quebec.
Wife: I just feel like there isn't any excitement in our sex life, eh.
Husband: I think it's that we just don't have enough energy after all our other responsibilities, eh, the kids, work.
Marriage Counselor: Like I haven't heard that a trillion fucking times, eh!! You two should learn Canada's History like any responsible citizens would! Now get the fuck out and fuck!!!
Husband: I think it's that we just don't have enough energy after all our other responsibilities, eh, the kids, work.
Marriage Counselor: Like I haven't heard that a trillion fucking times, eh!! You two should learn Canada's History like any responsible citizens would! Now get the fuck out and fuck!!!
by Guffaw February 05, 2010
Defined by Stephen Colbert of the Colbert report("Coal-bear Re-pore") as a sex act that uses Moose antlers (including the skull), maple syrup, and the stanley cup. This sexuall act is performed when two gay french canadians give eachother hot maple syrup enemas, and then release maple syrup covered fecalmater into the stanley cup. Soon after said gay french canadians battle to the death with moose antlers and reach arounds........the survivor gets a large serving of french fries and gravy for pleasing the canadian moose god (a.k.a. the maple moose)
1-"Man frank sure is walking funny".
2- "He must of had too much "canada history" last night"
1- "ahhhh so thats why his farts smell like maple syrup, and french fries with gravy".
2- "He must of had too much "canada history" last night"
1- "ahhhh so thats why his farts smell like maple syrup, and french fries with gravy".
by Red A. Massive February 05, 2010
This terrifying, little-practiced sex act requires elaborate staging and great acrobatic strength. First, the nude, submissive participant stands before the Stanley cup. The submissive lowers their head into the cup. The dominant participant approaches from behind with a decanter of warmed maple syrup, which is poured liberally onto the head and genitals of the submissive. Using thinly-sliced Canadian bacon as a prophylactic, the dominant penetrates the anus of the submissive with the body part or object of their choice, while simultaneously scoring the submissive's back with the antlers of a moose. Coitus ensues. Traditionally, the climax of either partner is marked by shouting the name of the band Rush's singer and bass player, "Geddy Lee!"
by dragonfucker February 06, 2010
A depraved sex act in which partners rip off their maple soaked denim underwear using moose antlers attached to their heads. The womans head is then sumbmerged in the stanley cup full of maple syrup while the man chokes her with his suspenders while plowing her in the rectum. Right before she passes out from lack of oxygen she wacks him in the balls repeatedly with a hockey stick to let him know "it is time" at which point he defficates in her mouth as she comes up for air. Finally they shove hockey pucks in each other anuses and continue intercourse as usual the act is only complete when the woman tranfers the man's maple soaked feces back to him orally.
All of this is done on under the watchful eye of The Beaver, however this act is rarely completed before the couple is eaten by a canadian bear
All of this is done on under the watchful eye of The Beaver, however this act is rarely completed before the couple is eaten by a canadian bear
by BigredXIII February 05, 2010
The act of a man or several men getting hammered drunk on yukon jack dressed as moose. The men then take large swigs of maple syrup and spit it in eachothers assholes. The men all clench their anuses, holding the syrup in, for twelve minutes, then splash it all into the Stanley Cup trophy....men without Stanley Cup trophies generally use commemorative Canada mugs sold to tourists. They then drink the syrup out of the cup. Then they fuck. In the butt.
"So me and Martin went over to Willies house and made some more Canadas History. Wicked sloppy."
"Gross bro."
"Gross bro."
by Jet Jaguar February 05, 2010
fucking a chick while using the stanley cup as a condom while shoving a moose antler up each of your asses and using a jug of maple syrup as lube
by FenrisWolfbrood February 05, 2010