Horatio Caine

Simply the coolest investigator in Miami, Horatio Caine is more than a man, he is a way of life with five basic rules:

1. Stand with Hands on hips
2. Place sunglasses on for dramatic effect, then remove them, and repeat (applicable inside as well as out)
3. Never fully address people by looking them in the eye, you're too cool for that.
4. Have a dramatic pause in your speech.
5. Shoot first/45 Degree turn/walk out of camera frame.

This is taken from the fact that in every episode of CSI MIAMI, Horatio will do most of these things, and is a badass at being cool. It all works by combining the first four in the first few minutes of CSI MIAMI, in which Horatio will give a witty one-liner about a dead body. Afterwhich abruptly comes in the WHO "We don't get fooled again"'s scream of YEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HORATIO CAINE: "You don't spend a thousand dollars on clothes... that you're never gonna wear..."

YEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

FRANK: "What are you going to do?"

HORATIO "I... am going to get to the truth."

YEEEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YELINA: "this time it was in a public place."

HORATIO: "So they brought the war to us and we..."
Horatio turns 45 degrees.
HORATIO: "Are gonna take it to them."

YEEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FRANK: "It means we got a drive by."

Horatio puts sunglasses on
HORATIO: "Drive by... Miami Style."

YEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

FRANK: "The Jury only had one week before deliberations"

HORATIO: "No need now... the verdict is in."

YEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FRANK: "They call it speed dating. Only cause our victim had 15 dates."

HORATIO: "You know what they say Frank... Speed kills."

YEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ALEX: "You don't fall three storeys get up and run away."

Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "You do... (looks up) If you've got something to hide."

YEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHH

COLEMAN: "I don't remember anything."

HORATIO: "Okay, listen um... I don't want you to worry about it Mr. Coleman... because I..."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "I'll be you're memory."

YEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FRANK: "Friends say she came to drink mojitas and catch some sun."

HORATIO: "Well it looks like..."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "something... caught her."

YEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HORATIO: "So we had a victim who started the week big man on campus... and ended it... dead on arrival."

YEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FRANK: "No matter how you cut it, Horatio, divorce sucks."

HORATIO: "Frank..."
Horatio puts sunglasses on.
HORATIO: "it's a killer."

YYYEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FRANK: "She was caught in the cross fire."

HORATIO: "That's what happens when worlds collide."

YEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FRANK: "It was a mob hit, Horatio."

Horatio puts sunglasses on
HORATIO: "Yes, and it's time to hit back."

YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

FRANK: "The verdicts in."

HORATIO: "The verdict is in..."
Horatio puts on sunglasses.
HORATIO: "...but the jury is out."

YEEEEEEAAHHHHHHHH

GRINGO: "Lieutenant Caine."

HORATIO: "You help me, and I'll help you."

GRINGO: "You're already dead brother."

Horatio shoots the Gringo dead.

HORATIO: "Join the club."

YYYEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Honourable mentions:

1. Horatio gets in bomb-armed SUV, and with four minutes to spare, drives to the beach, takes off his sunglasses. Steps out and, slowly, walks away from the SUV. As he places his sunglasses on, the SUV explodes into a massive ball of fire and rubble. And Horatio says, "Burn, baby, burn."

2. Horatio steps out from an ambulance, as three hitmen has been sent to kill him, as he emerges from behind the ambulance, he shoots two hitmen before they can open fire, the third runs away. As one lays in agony he tries to raise his gun.

Horatio calmly instructs, "Stay down..."
The guy doesn't listen.
Horatio, repeats, "stay down."
The guy doesn't listen.

And without even looking at the guy, Horatio shoots him, while continuing his walk.

3. In the Season 5 Premier, RIO, in slow motion and to the song "We Don't Get Fooled Again" by the Who (also the shows theme but extended for this version) Horatio shanks Riaz, in cold blood. Coolest. Murder. Ever.

by Jimblorath March 8, 2007

Cairn

1. Incredible man of perfect posture. Their jokes are absolute Bangers and they’re an outright hilarious person. An absolute man magnet as well as incredibly cool. When they aren’t being hilarious they are being incredible at everything else and being VERY manly. What’s not to love about this incredible human being.

2. The name of a pile of rocks found on top of hills. Often used to signify the highest point or to provide Hansel and Gretel like directions.

1. “Cairn is quite possibly the most hilarious person I know. Last time he cracked a joke I almost shat my pants.”

2. “I have decided that I am going to go camping with Cairn beside the nearby Cairn.”

3. “Did you know that there are only 128 people called Cairn in the world? It just shows how lucky someone is to know someone of such status.”

by FuckYouIzzy September 30, 2019

Cabrewing

The act of floating down a river in a canoe or raft while drinking alcoholic beverages. Usually done in large groups. No paddeling is involved unless absolutely necessary. As a practical joke, it is a common occurrance to flip over other canoes. Usually done in a shallow body of water where wading is possible due to frequent potty breaks.

We were all sunburned, wet, and drunk after a long day of cabrewing.

by ukwildkat April 25, 2009

cairns fag

a guy from cairns (north Queensland) who tends to take as much time doing his hair as his sister would, shaves his legs and wears short, tight pants and colourful fag singlets. most of these people go to saint augustines.

innisfail: yo cairns fag, come over here for a second!
cairns: can i suck your dick?

by peoplethesedays95-11 November 13, 2011

Herman Cained

One who does not believe in the legitimacy of a disease or illness, only to die of it.

Yeah, my Uncle Bob was a huge Trumptard and didn't believe in the risks of COVID 19, only to be Herman Cained a few weeks later. RIP!

by Wack Jab August 12, 2020

Cairan

Someone who is wicked at soccer/football.

He is doing a Cairan.

by 42069OKBOOMERNATOR March 31, 2020

Cained

1. To be overlooked despite outstanding performance due to being overshadowed by teammates thanks to the ignorance of the media, such what frequently happens to San Francisco Giants pitcher Matt Cain after pitching a good game.

2. Alternatively, it can refer to having one's good work spoiled by teammates' incompetence, such as when Matt Cain gives up only two runs but nonetheless loses due to a lack of run support.

Example 1: I discovered a cure for cancer, but my boss took all the credit. I got Cained.

Example 2: I spent months setting up the experiments, but my labmate Cained me by accidentally deleting all the data.

by GoGiants2010 November 14, 2010