Generally, a government employee or environmental consultant who has no practical field skills or an understanding of ecology.
Unable to navigate in the bush without the aid of a touch screen device. Turn up into the field dressed in completely new clothes, almost always in khaki and predominately featuring an outdoors store latest season catalogue. Various digital accoutrements hang off their belt to help with managing the wilderness. Prone to printing off a small woodlands worth of paperwork with every page colour coded, labelled and compartmentalised in corresponding coloured manilla folders. Cannot change a tyre.
Spend the majority of their time in the office obsessing of minor inconsequential details which will be overlooked by the client. Readily plot survey points on a map with scant regard for topography, vegetation density or difficulty of access for which they will then send out contractors to complete the actual work. Dislike meetings but will tolerate them for the tiny catered sandwiches during mid-morning tea. Drink soy lattes.
Have the fitness of a wounded gazelle. Consider light wind a significant hazard and will accordingly cancel the days work. Accustomed to hefty meal allowances of which most will be spent on sourdough and chia seeds. Don’t like spiders or things getting in their hair. Find fieldwork emotionally and physically traumatising despite their Instagram hashtags indicating otherwise.
Readily identify as an ‘ecologist’ in their email signature.
Unable to navigate in the bush without the aid of a touch screen device. Turn up into the field dressed in completely new clothes, almost always in khaki and predominately featuring an outdoors store latest season catalogue. Various digital accoutrements hang off their belt to help with managing the wilderness. Prone to printing off a small woodlands worth of paperwork with every page colour coded, labelled and compartmentalised in corresponding coloured manilla folders. Cannot change a tyre.
Spend the majority of their time in the office obsessing of minor inconsequential details which will be overlooked by the client. Readily plot survey points on a map with scant regard for topography, vegetation density or difficulty of access for which they will then send out contractors to complete the actual work. Dislike meetings but will tolerate them for the tiny catered sandwiches during mid-morning tea. Drink soy lattes.
Have the fitness of a wounded gazelle. Consider light wind a significant hazard and will accordingly cancel the days work. Accustomed to hefty meal allowances of which most will be spent on sourdough and chia seeds. Don’t like spiders or things getting in their hair. Find fieldwork emotionally and physically traumatising despite their Instagram hashtags indicating otherwise.
Readily identify as an ‘ecologist’ in their email signature.
Standing at the precipice of a volcano looking down into a cauldron of boiling, angry lava.
Ecologist 1: Who put the site down there?
Ecologist 2: A fucking café ecologist.
Ecologist 1: Who put the site down there?
Ecologist 2: A fucking café ecologist.
by The Angry Biologist October 16, 2019
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Get the beachwood cafe mug.Related Words
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A bloated and bulbous creature that came from the outer reaches of space. This creature enjoys sticking foreign objects up it's waste disposal hole in order to gross out those who anger it. The GE Cafe also enjoys viewing horrible sketch comedy shows and annoying those who post on internet messageboards
So I saw the GE Cafe creature and it was hideous. The thing had a penis shaped metal rod coming out of it's rear end! Plus it's tits sagged down so low to the ground that they looked like another pair of legs
by Bird boy September 22, 2008
Get the GE Cafe mug.A state in which a person has gotten so little sleep that they must rely on a constant intake of caffeine to stay awake.
by vivajobama December 24, 2010
Get the Caffeine Life Support mug."Don't do drugs, kids" said the teacher as she sipped on her extra-large coffee, consuming 200 mg of caffeine in the process.
by Trajork September 15, 2009
Get the caffeine mug.A television cook-show hosted by Randy Marsh.
Making sure you keep your cooking fresh with Cafeteria Fraiche, you must remember to keep it fraiche.
Making sure you keep your cooking fresh with Cafeteria Fraiche, you must remember to keep it fraiche.
Cafeteria Fraiche;
"Now olive oil does have a low smoke point so keep that heat low and keep it fraiiiichee. OHh OHH thats so F*cking hot, look at that crust its perfect, F*ck Yeah!''
"Now olive oil does have a low smoke point so keep that heat low and keep it fraiiiichee. OHh OHH thats so F*cking hot, look at that crust its perfect, F*ck Yeah!''
by Cheelos November 23, 2010
Get the Cafeteria Fraiche mug.by Dahooligan January 29, 2019
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