Autograph session

The process of trying to get oneself clean after a shit that leaves your butthole agape. Most common after a dropping a deuce with the consistency of Georgia Red Clay.

Why were you in the bathroom so long?" "I was actually done pretty quick, but then it turned into an autograph session when I was wiping my ass. I still don't feel clean...I just know my butt's going to be itchy later.

by Frank Vinacelli December 11, 2011

poor man's autograph

When having sex, contact with the males fist into the females nose giving the female a bloody nose. After blood comes out, the males signs his name on the females chest.

"I gave that bitch a poor man's autograph."

by Mysterious John March 14, 2004

Autograph HER iPad, I'd Like To

Double entendre, stemming from HotForWords' offer of a chance to win an autographed iPad by joining a site she linked to from her lesson on "Double Entendre" ("I'd like to double HER entendre" - The Todd, SCRUBS)

You won an iPad that HotForWords autographed? Oooh ... (Yoda say) Autograph HER iPad, I'd Like To ... Yehhhhhhhhhhhs!

by Uncle J MythMan January 16, 2011

autographic

a visual imprint to the brain of a car

I will slash his tires. I know what he drives. I have an autographic memory

by Sodathief August 30, 2022

Autograph vulture

A person who bothers and hounds celebrities for autographs just to sell online. Often times an autograph vulture will camp out near a venue where the celebrity is working or lives with several items to be signed. This person is often times not a fan of the celebrity and has little respect for the fans in the same vicinity.

Fan: I wanted to meet my favorite singer but these autograph vultures pushed ahead and asked for 6 albums to be signed and he didn't have time for me.

by MetalliStripe June 09, 2016

Autograph

As much as some teenage girls want to take credit for being the one to make someone's life hell, a guy signing autographs is not going through a living hell, because he's not having his fingernails or toenails pulled off one by one, or being taken back to the middle ages with various torture devices (true living hell). Wasted time (autographs) and waiting somewhere longer than you should while things move slowly is all purgatory. Get your realms and their definitions straight before you start trying to tell other people about telling shit straight.

The guy signing autographs was certainly in living purgatory, but their wasn't enough actual physical pain to call it anything close to living he'll. Corporal punishment is closer to the realm of living hell (as a mind state or otherwise), and actual torture (not psychological or watching a traumatic movie about it) is closer to true living hell, if there is such a thing. Most of the people who say they made this or that person's life hell are really just pretentious frauds.

by Solid Mantis September 12, 2019

A soldier asked Eminem for his autograph

A soldier
asked Eminem for his autograph.
Eminem replied,

Sure, if I can have yours.

Hey dido, did you know a soldier asked Eminem for his autograph?

Oh? Thats news to me bub!

by Realdido November 23, 2023