Assassin's Creed Obsession

A person with an Assassin's Creed obsession can be seen from a mile away. This person tends to wear hoodies, look mysterious and randomly insert qoutes into conversations, such as: "Nothing is true, everything is permitted". Having this type of obsession will cause laughter, tears, pain and joy. When your whole life revolves around this game, everything will seem unimportant in comparison. The female obsessed will often cry themselves to sleep as they realise they can never be with Altair, Ezio, Connor or Desmond. The male obsessed will cry themselves to sleep knowing that they can never be as badass as the characters mentioned earlier. When a player reaches the end of these games, they will be left in tears, shock or just sit there dumbfounded for a few days. Sometimes they'll even re-evaluate their entire existence. These games let many escape from their own boring and miserable lives and let them live in the world of Desmond Miles and his awesome ancestors. If you did not understand anything in this defintion, unfortunately you are not obsessed and it is advised you play these games immediately as you are not living a badassery life.

Friend: Hey dude, what's up? Why are you crying?
Me: Assassin's creed revelations ended and my life is over. I have such an Assassin's Creed Obsession.

Mother: Darling? Are you okay? Is it a boy?
Me: Yes, Ezio loves Sophia and Cristina and practically everyone else, but not ME! My life is over.

Boyfriend: Hey baby, you wanna come over and have some fun?

Me: No sorry, I'm jamming assassins creed. Besides, Desmond is fucking sexy so I can just pretend to have fun with him instead.

Friend: Holy shit bro did you get Assassin's creed 3 yet, It's AMAZEBALLZ!!
Friend 2: You shit, my life is over because I didn't pre-order it. Tell me what happend!! No wait, don't. No tell me. No DON'T. NO SPOILERS. AHHH MY LIFE IS CONFLICTED WITH THE LOVE FOR THE CREED.

by Jade606 November 19, 2012

Brown Eye Assassin

An individual who has mastered the art of completely dismantling the ass of another individual.

I don’t know what happened last but I was dismantled by a brown eye assassin last night and it was great

by Tee Cee Deez June 15, 2019

Assish

The act of being an asshole.

Dude, that is totally assish of you to jack off in Travis's shampoo!

by Fuzzy Walrus September 27, 2006

pawsonal assistant

As we move forward in time, a significant fraction of the human population is rejecting speciesism that humans all over the world are conditioned to. As the non-speciestic movement grows, more people are adopting non-human animals and providing them shelter in their homes. Like children, non-human animals need care on a daily basis and in some cases, need someone to be available at all times. It is inevitable that the adopting human might not be able to give care at all times and will need to hire a pawsonal assistant during these times to care for their non-human animal companions.

As Maria foresees traveling once a month, she is hiring a pawsonal assistant for her best friend, Foxy.

by Social-media Wordsmith August 21, 2018

sucks to your assmar

A phrase uttered to an inferior ally, just before you switch teams/abandon them. Originally from "Lord of the Flies" in reference to the fat kid piggy, and his asthma, which was always slowing him down.

Jim:"I don't think I can make it George, you'll have to carry me to safety"
George:"Sucks to your assmar. You're on your own!"

by spacecowboy November 18, 2003

Asses Of Fire

A popular Canadian film that sparked the Canadian-American war, and caused the deaths of millions.

Asses of Fire may well be the second best movie ever made, right after Asses of Fire 2.

by PEN-15 October 30, 2003

Swag Assassin

A murderer of another person's swag. This, concurrently, increases the swag of the swag assassin. In addition, if someone in the general area is misusing or abusing their swag, it is the job of the swag assassin to take over their swag. Also, a swag assassin's swag may be so great, that it shuts out everyone else's swag in the general area.

1. Paul's swag was all out of whack last night. I had to turn into the swag assassin

2. Hold on to your swag, the swag assassin is in the building.

by Car.Bon. November 22, 2011