A Conserv-absurd is an argument that provides poor reasoning in support of its conclusion. Conserv-absurds differ from other bad arguments in that right-wing people find these psychologically persuasive, and therefore mistakenly believe its conclusion to be true even though it’s false.
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
Examples of “If P then Q” Conserv-absurds:
“If you don’t support the war, you don’t support the troops.”
“If we fight them over there, we won’t have to fight them here.”
Frequently such illogical sound bites are made into bumper stickers, and the false information will be distributed via email (to catapult the propapoop). More recently this trend has increased among social conservatives.
For example, infidelity is okay IF:
1. You don’t do it in your office. If you have extramarital sex elsewhere like an airport restroom or another country, then it’s okay, even when done at the taxpayer’s or company’s expense.
2. There is reconciliation with your spouse, no matter how much you really hate each other. Especially when there are kids, no matter how much you fight in front of them. It’s better to pretend you have "family values" than to have family well-being.
3. You ask forgiveness, though you don’t regret cheating--just getting busted. It has nothing to do with merit, but rather the appearance of repentance.
4. You do it because you’re fed up with Obama.
Antonym - constipational
There they go again trying to blame everything on the “liberal media.” But Conserv-absurds are the real reason the country is going down the toilet!
by ConcealedID July 13, 2009
Get the Conserv-absurdmug. I didn;t even realize I had to shat, and next thing you know I had an absurd turd. It was bigger than a baby, my poo baby!
by Bud E Love May 14, 2003
Get the absurd turdmug. Plays that veer away from the traditional convevtions of characterization, setting, and plot. Often referred to as modernist literature.
by some punk kid May 1, 2005
Get the theater of the absurdmug. A hand gesture in which one hooks both thumbs together and flaps their fingers like a bird's wings. Like its cousins awkward turtle and tmi turtkey, absurd bird is meant to show just how absurd a situation is. The more absurd the situation, the higher absurd bird flies.
Twilight Fan: Have you read Breaking Dawn yet?!
Random Guy: Yeah, absurd bird was flyin' high the whole time.
Random Guy: Yeah, absurd bird was flyin' high the whole time.
by Anonymous3827264832 September 29, 2008
Get the Absurd Birdmug. A psychological and social consequence of the generational culture divide and the introduction of the internet to youth, especially late Milennials/Gen Z, who conform to Satorian Ideals of nihilism, hopelessness, keen awareness, and a lethargic attitude to much of life's troubles. This has created a strange group of individuals who are totally alien from other generations, and who's motivations, personality, interests, and lifestyle are combinations and variations of infinite (often online factors) totally unseen in prior years. In simple terms, it is the extreme complexity of today's youth, and is what isolates them from their peers. In terms of personality, interests, and desire, they can be seen as "absurdist", or difficult to explain. In a sort-of faux mental-illness type way, where understanding what's going on in their head would take an entire wiki, and often a reason is lacking. It embraces the chaos of reality in the most nihilistic (and directionless) way possible.
tl;dr, the depressing autistic nihilistic absurdist way the Satori generation navigates reality.
tl;dr, the depressing autistic nihilistic absurdist way the Satori generation navigates reality.
by b4guette July 16, 2024
Get the Satorian Absurdismmug. Dude, did you read some of the tweets for the last debate?
Yeah, those were some nice absurd-vations!
Yeah, those were some nice absurd-vations!
by MBG October 13, 2012
Get the Absurd-vationmug. .
mormon's Prayer: "There are no losses, straight finesse, call me shalashaska, Used to call me absurd now I pull up on the curve because I smack more backs that I care to admit, I swear I spit hot lava and that is my sword."
by SuchBackSmacker March 12, 2025
Get the mormon's Prayer: "There are no losses, straight finesse, call me shalashaska, Used to call me absurd now I pull up on the curve because I smack more backs that I care to admit, I swear I spit hot lava and that is my sword."mug.