Jesus take the wheel

A sort of cuss phrase that stems from the song of the same name sung by Carrie Underwood.

Dude! Jimmy just took my cheese sticks! Jesus take the wheel! I hate that kid!

by David "Can Do" Kennedy July 11, 2006

Jesus F Christ

Spoken by a troubled soul, a person fluent in most heanus of sware words though due to a religous tendancy struggles to link 'Fuck' or 'Fucking' to his/her lord above blaspheme's..

Stjohn - "Margaret, why u aint cleaned my car bitch?"

Margaret "Jesus F Christ SJ, that cunting Landrover gets so dirty up our motherfucking mile long drive, do it ur fucking self"

by Chris cacc August 14, 2009

a jesus (said together)

a long period of time, enternally or forever

it's going to take us a jesus to get to the mall from here.

by Morgan June 29, 2004

come to jesus meeting

A meeting in which a group discusses their flaws. Nobody can interupt another and they can't put words in somebody else's mouth (she doesnt like me).

After this terrible week, the staff really needs a come to jesus meeting.

by BmsGrad January 1, 2009

kung-fu for jesus

Some people in Alabama who are crazy and learn karate for Jesus. They are Pentecostal Crazies and speak in tongues. It's like Karate For Christ or something. It's freaky in a bad bad way.

onlooker#1: Dude, they just beat the shit out of that Hindu.
onlooker#2: Yeah, it's those crazy guys that do kung-fu for Jesus.

by mofojimbo August 2, 2009

Jesus' prom date

A term used to describe someone very old.

This lady was so old she must have been Jesus' prom date.

OR
That guy was so old he knew Jesus' prom date.

by Hikkin December 19, 2012

free pizza jesus

When they hold a prayer event at your school and they give free pizza if you sit through it.

Person 1.) Aw man I have to deal with the free pizza jesus people today!
Person 2.) Well at least we get some quality pizza.
Person 1.) But they are so fucking annoying!

by Free Pizza JESUS CHRIST ADASDA March 22, 2017