The bizarre act seen in many porn films whereby a distinguished gentleman or gracious lady with strap-on, grips the base of the phallus and lightly taps it upon the meaty buttock-flesh of a partner presenting themselves by resting on the knees and hands (or elbows (...or face)). The most likely explanation for this phenomenon was offered by Professor Archibald Knobblyknackers of Christ College, Oxford, who theorised that the action was originally designed to test the hollowness of the awaiting bung-hole after the disastrous attempt by a disoriented Ron Jeremy to sodomise a helpless-yet-impenetrable Venus De Milo prop, which resulted in an imploded bellend and the brief resurrection of Michelangelo Batio for vengeance, who was given licence to murder twelve pigeons after a hazardous filing error and accidental double-lifing on account of the fact he wasn’t dead in the first place. Thus, dick tamping was subsequently invented as a safety precaution to ensure adequate space for a ram-passage, or to check for cockroaches or something.
‘Always precede any acts of quadrapedal intercourse with thorough dick tamping. If you are not sure whether it is safe to proceed, do not risk entry under any circumstances and contact your appointed fire official, where the offending buttocks will be taken away to be incinerated’ – the Porn Safety Handbook
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My American fiance doesn't understand "taking the piss", so she took my piss taking seriously and now I'm in the dog house! :(
by Malrak May 10, 2008
Get the taking the piss mug.Taking names - yes, total domination, all that. But its origins are old school: when a military unit wipes out an opposing military unit so completely that they cease to exist as a unit, that unit's name is taken. Once upon a time, their colors - their flag - was taken. Think about an MC being stripped of their cuts.
"I was in Marine Recon in Vietnam. We were kickin' ass and taking names - called in an arclight strike on a whole division of NVA." (To be clear - this is an example...no personal claims here.)
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Get the Big Timing mug.A very unknown type of drug, it involves taking a sweat bee and having it sting you in the wrist veins.
by DJ Premiere February 15, 2010
Get the Taking Sweats mug.The name of the rapidly growing organization that is known for Night Timing. Started in Atlantic County, NJ in September 2008 by 4 members, it has grown to become a popular group for the concept of going out at night and having a good time. For minors, the popular method of sneaking out occurs when one does not have permission of the legal guardians in order to meet up with fellow Night Timers.
NTI now consist of many more members. In order for one to be approved for the group, one must be DTF aka Down To Fuck which means willing to be cool and going out with the rest of the group without any Bitch-Ass-Ness. If some one is not willing to cooperate or drops out of the group, they are sure to expect a mean Forking. and if they dont have a lawn then Egging to their windows may occur.
NOTE: One may be Honorably Discharged of the group which means no penalty if one gets in trouble by the legal guardians due to Night Timing. This has happened to a few members. One has been caught due to a failure to remove a ladder next to the window which the parent concluded precisely that he snuck out. One has also been caught making too much noise sneaking back into their respective house and also arriving home incredibly late or past sunrise.
NTI now consist of many more members. In order for one to be approved for the group, one must be DTF aka Down To Fuck which means willing to be cool and going out with the rest of the group without any Bitch-Ass-Ness. If some one is not willing to cooperate or drops out of the group, they are sure to expect a mean Forking. and if they dont have a lawn then Egging to their windows may occur.
NOTE: One may be Honorably Discharged of the group which means no penalty if one gets in trouble by the legal guardians due to Night Timing. This has happened to a few members. One has been caught due to a failure to remove a ladder next to the window which the parent concluded precisely that he snuck out. One has also been caught making too much noise sneaking back into their respective house and also arriving home incredibly late or past sunrise.
The following activities are ways of having a good time
when going out:
1) going to the legendary Jersey Devil's house for a scary and fun experience.
2) doing harmless but rather very annoying pranks such as forking, driving on lawns, egging, beeping the horn.
3) going either to McDonald's, Denny's, or White Castle.
4) going to Ocean City boardwalk.
5) going to the Atlantic City boardwalk or casinos and driving around to talk to the women strolling on pacific avenue.
6) bustin dance moves. ex: arm head bang, crucifix.
7) just driving around and listening to the NTI theme song.
8) going to any other fun events such as parties or chilling at some ones house or even bowling.
9) strange catch phrases or words like squally, yo bro, hellz kitch, beautiful stuff, orale guey, or DTF.
Requirements: At least one car to get around town. Money to have a head banging time. supplies such as forks. running gear to avoid getting caught by house owners. cellular devices for solid communication.
Night Timing International has also had an Expansion in 2009 which is called NTI 2Day. look up in U.D.
when going out:
1) going to the legendary Jersey Devil's house for a scary and fun experience.
2) doing harmless but rather very annoying pranks such as forking, driving on lawns, egging, beeping the horn.
3) going either to McDonald's, Denny's, or White Castle.
4) going to Ocean City boardwalk.
5) going to the Atlantic City boardwalk or casinos and driving around to talk to the women strolling on pacific avenue.
6) bustin dance moves. ex: arm head bang, crucifix.
7) just driving around and listening to the NTI theme song.
8) going to any other fun events such as parties or chilling at some ones house or even bowling.
9) strange catch phrases or words like squally, yo bro, hellz kitch, beautiful stuff, orale guey, or DTF.
Requirements: At least one car to get around town. Money to have a head banging time. supplies such as forks. running gear to avoid getting caught by house owners. cellular devices for solid communication.
Night Timing International has also had an Expansion in 2009 which is called NTI 2Day. look up in U.D.
by Night Timer 03 January 14, 2010
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