Progressive metal is a generally needlessly complicated and unstructured form of music that often makes minimal sense to the majority of metal fans because it can only be appreciated by people with an IQ over 600.
Progressive metal fans often believe they are superior to any fan of any other genre and will generally reject any piece music that isn't at least 20 minutes long with 40 key changes per minute.
Music in 4/4 is like kryptonite to a progressive metal fan and they must be administered dream theatre riffs as an antidote
An easy way to spot a progressive metal fan is to look for the guy who is pissed off at Opeth for dropping the growls yet goes to their shows anyway and yells for them to play Black Rose Immortal. He will also let everyone know that he's mostly there for the support band, who he has known about for ages.
In short, the math nerd of metal
Progressive metal fans often believe they are superior to any fan of any other genre and will generally reject any piece music that isn't at least 20 minutes long with 40 key changes per minute.
Music in 4/4 is like kryptonite to a progressive metal fan and they must be administered dream theatre riffs as an antidote
An easy way to spot a progressive metal fan is to look for the guy who is pissed off at Opeth for dropping the growls yet goes to their shows anyway and yells for them to play Black Rose Immortal. He will also let everyone know that he's mostly there for the support band, who he has known about for ages.
In short, the math nerd of metal
*At an Opeth show*
Friend: Who's that guy *Points at a guy middle aged guy with long hair, glasses and a dream theatre shirt on stood in the middle of the pit looking like a moody teenager*
Me: Oh that's a progressive metal guy, he actually hates this band because their music is too simple
Friend: So why's he here if he hates them?
Me: Oh it's happening, look at him now
Prog metal guy: I HATE YOU GUYS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE YOU BETTER PLAY BLACK ROSE IMMORTAL RIGHT NOW OR I'M OUT OF HERE.
Friend: Wow
Friend: Who's that guy *Points at a guy middle aged guy with long hair, glasses and a dream theatre shirt on stood in the middle of the pit looking like a moody teenager*
Me: Oh that's a progressive metal guy, he actually hates this band because their music is too simple
Friend: So why's he here if he hates them?
Me: Oh it's happening, look at him now
Prog metal guy: I HATE YOU GUYS WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO THE WAY YOU WERE YOU BETTER PLAY BLACK ROSE IMMORTAL RIGHT NOW OR I'M OUT OF HERE.
Friend: Wow
by Crilbus January 27, 2019
Get the Progressive metal mug.Far left intolerant people, oppressors, antisemitic, not interested in facts and history, choosing selective facts and propaganda
The progressive nazi prevented Jews from entering the building.
The progressive nazi shouted down someone teaching history because the facts were against his propaganda.
The progressive nazi shouted down someone teaching history because the facts were against his propaganda.
by MrBigSpoon July 24, 2024
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Get the Progress King mug.What a company cooks themselves when they shamelessly does something for the sake of appearing diverse for street cred, rather than actually fighting prejudice.
Amber: Woah, insert homophobic corporation here made their logo rainbow for pride month! How diverse and inclusive of them!
Jenny: Don't fool yourself, they are just making themselves some progressive cake.
Jenny: Don't fool yourself, they are just making themselves some progressive cake.
by Zi7ar21 May 8, 2024
Get the Progressive Cake mug.A phenomenon seen in technological advancement and more specifically, computer programming. The more progress is made, the easier it is to make more progress.
It starts with typing two whole files of code for weeks and absolutely no results, ends with adding cool features everyday. Progress is exponential.
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/Pro-gre-siv-ly/ /Stray-ate/
adjectives
1. A Straight Heterosexual Man or Woman who finds out that they had Sex with a Trans-person or Hermaphrodite (Fae, Nymph, Caenorhabditis Elegans, or a Worm Person) and accepts the fact they are technically Bisexual but, they prefer to be Heterosexual (Straight) and their ok with being in a relationship with a Trans-person or Hermaphrodite (Fae, Nymph, Caenorhabditis Elegans, or a Worm Person).
/Pro-gre-siv-ly/ /Stray-ate/
adjectives
1. A Straight Heterosexual Man or Woman who finds out that they had Sex with a Trans-person or Hermaphrodite (Fae, Nymph, Caenorhabditis Elegans, or a Worm Person) and accepts the fact they are technically Bisexual but, they prefer to be Heterosexual (Straight) and their ok with being in a relationship with a Trans-person or Hermaphrodite (Fae, Nymph, Caenorhabditis Elegans, or a Worm Person).
Progressively Straight
noun and adjective
"A Straight, White, Cisgender, Heteronormative, Homophobe, Patriarchy, WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) Man who Fucks Trannys, Trans-women, Hermaphrodites (Fae, Nymph, Caenorhabditis Elegans, Worm Person), and Deep Throats their Dicks but, identifies as a Straight Man."
“You Phoque-n Lion Breeder!”
(You Seal Lion Breeder!)
noun and adjective
"A Straight, White, Cisgender, Heteronormative, Homophobe, Patriarchy, WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) Man who Fucks Trannys, Trans-women, Hermaphrodites (Fae, Nymph, Caenorhabditis Elegans, Worm Person), and Deep Throats their Dicks but, identifies as a Straight Man."
“You Phoque-n Lion Breeder!”
(You Seal Lion Breeder!)
by Nobody 🖤 January 4, 2025
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