Bert Kreischer sit-ups

A highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

by Mr SlapNTickle March 20, 2023

bert kaempfert

Bert Kaempfert conducted a jazz orchestra and wrote many famous songs. He recorded from 1958 to 1980. His career as a conductor began in post-war Germany, where he heard the GI's V- discs, and decided to make similar music, using his considerable education in music.

Bert Kaempfert's Original Gold Records include "Wonderland by Night" and "Moon Over Naples (Spanish Eyes)."

by F.A.S. November 25, 2013

Pulling a Bert

The act of peeing in a cup and then falsely selling it as lemonade

My friend was working in a food truck and ran out of lemonade, so he had to pull a bert to sell the last 3 cups

He’s definitely Pulling a Bert

by Gopher7923 April 12, 2024

Bert-reading

Reading of a petition perform before signing it, to find out if you should support it or not, although the title is convincing. It's the final stage before signing a petition.

X: Did you just sign that petition ?
Y: Yes, why ?
X: You know better! Please do a bert-reading next time!!
Y: Why ?
X: Petitions can be very powerful and being attention to issues that we don’t know about... but I really need you to read some of these before signing. Some of them don’t be saying nothing and actually detract from grassroots organizations that are already doing the work.

by jhumigas June 6, 2020

Bert Squirt

The same exact technique as giving a woman the shocker. But the person giving the Bert Squirt is missing part of their pinky finger. Therefore instead of " Two in the pink and one in the stink", it is Two in the pink and half in the stink. This technique is satisfying to both partners because the partner on the receiving end is enjoying a half pinky with no fingernail being lodged up her butthole, while the partner on the giving end is feeling the woman's stink wrinkles pucker like a hummingbird heart all over his damaged nerve endings sending them both into squirt mode.

I gave my wife the Bert squirt last night, now the ceiling in our bedroom looks like a jackson pollock painting with a black light on!

by Chingycheeze August 20, 2021

bert

The funniest youtuber in the world who primarily makes short Spongebob YouTube Poops. He makes the characters say different things from the original episode usually resulting in a sexual reference such as when he made Mr. Krabs say "get that suit on sailor! It's already been cummed on!" instead of the original, "it's already been paid for!", in the episode where Pearl takes over the Krusty Krab and gives them the crazy onesie uniforms where Squidward says, "rage, fury, irritation, humiliation,". That's just one hilarious example. He is a talented voice actor who gets the character's voices almost spot on and also manipulates the speeds and movements of the characters to make them look like they're saying what he wants them to say. Most of his videos have been taken down unfortunately due to Viacom saying that he was violating copyright laws. He has about 60,000 subscribers.

Squidward: "Now, repeat after me! bert's edits are so good!"
Spongebob: "bert's edits suck dick!"
Squidward: "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" (throws mirror)

by HouCou2003 November 3, 2022

bert

to be overweight , fat , greasy

hey kyal , looking like a bert today.
hey man youv e put on weight , you must be a bert now.
look at that bert over there.

by berties March 20, 2019