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douchebag index

The douchebag index (DBI) is a statistic that yields the number of days since a person last bathed. It is found by multiplying the number of visible tattoos (VT) by the number of missing teeth (MT).

DBI = VT X MT
This dude's douchebag index is 27, meaning that he hasn't bathed in about four weeks. He has nine gross tattoos and three missing teeth.
by Duckbutt January 9, 2008
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douchebagasaurus

The epitome of a douche. You know those people who are generally so retarded that you just want to have a 1000 pound hand so you can crush their face over and over again.
Unknown A: "dude what're you scared?"
Unknown B: "I just owned you?"
Unknown A: "yeah you're scared"
Unknown B: "lawl fuckin' douchebagasaurus"
by CheekyMoore January 14, 2008
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Douchebagger Vance

1)Someone who does not perform well on the golf course, due to being hungover

2)Someone who performs general douchebaggery on the golf course and thinks they are good but they are not.
1) Jeremy: "How did you play?"
Danny: "Like Douchebagger Vance"
Jeremy: "Thats a bummer man."

2) Jeremy: "How was golf?"
Danny: "Some Douchebagger Vance kept hitting into people and taking forever to hit a 5 yard shot!"
Jeremy: "Thats a bummer man."
by Doodle Bugs September 8, 2008
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douchebag

An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears.
Your boss is a real douchebag!
by Burrito Brad June 28, 2006
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Schrodinger's douchebag

A person who makes a bad take and quickly backtracks on it because of backlash.
Person 1: Guys, I take that back, I've changed my mind.
Person 2: Yeah sure Schrodinger's douchebag, you just said that because people hated it.
by uo3rfhieufheufhieofjjwopel August 30, 2021
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douchebagocity

1. The measurement of how much someone is being a douche.
Yesterday you were an ass and now your douchebagocity has raised.
by Cabooseness February 22, 2008
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Desparate Douchebag

A guy who will say or do anything and everything to get a girlfriend, usually not caring who it is. Often categorized by talking to as many girls as possible and acting interested in all of them until one actually shows interest back, at which time, they will immediately blow off all the others and shift their attention to the one person (this is rare, because they usually fail majorly at flirting). If they do manage a relationship, it usually will turn into an obsessive one, with them most likely telling their significant other that they love them within the first few weeks.

Can be compared to someone who is "pussy whipped", as these guys often will do anything to make themselves look better to a girl. Including lieing about themselves, putting the girl before his guy friends, and "cockblocking" others who the girl may show interest in.
Guy1:Did you hear that desparate douchebag Tim finally got a girl to like him?

Guy2: Really? How'd he manage that one?

Guy1: He told her that he loved her.

Guy: Wow, ya think that would just freak someone out?
by madskillz99 June 29, 2009
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