A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.
911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022
A person who inserts other people's feces inside his/hers own rectum in an effort to obtain any nutrients that could remain.
by NotTimothyDalton October 17, 2016
Its an old superstition about A sneaky lil midget bandit theif in the night that climbs in your bathroom window and burgles the turd right out the bowl that more than likely are there because you got shit faced and forgot to flush or your dirty lazy kids left the bowl present for the turd bandit. Because the story goes.... Feed the turd burglar once a week and you will never get a stomach. Keep that gut flora happy ... Feed the turd burglars.
"Tiny tim dont flush that shit you know you got to leave that for the turd burglar tonight or you will end up with a belly ache
by Ghostbuster2000 February 08, 2021
Jim: "Jesus Dan. Did John just take your iPhone to show to his girlfriend?"
Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."
Dan: "Yea. He's a turd burglar."
by A Time Walker July 31, 2013
Hey Roy! The toilet is full in the port a pot, think you can wave down the turd burglars when they drive by to empty it for us?
by Motosaki410 June 05, 2019
Kevin Spacey, recently arrested for sexual harrassment of young men is a notorious Turd Burglar, as is former House Speaker and wrestling coach Dennis Hastert.
by Mike From Akron January 24, 2018
This type of turd burglar is the type that happends in nursing homes. When a resident lets everything come out right in the eating area, in front of everyone and not caring about other people eating or Anything and after they finish thier business they just walk away.....
Turd Burglar: oops I have to use the bathroom...
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now
Nurse: No wait ill take you to the bathroom
Turd Burglar: no im going right here right now
by FUNTIME! October 23, 2019