Tits on a boat

like the terms tits on a boar, man, or board etc... the term "tits on a boat" is used to describe how useless or incompetent someone or something is.

Believed origins of the term:

1) in history it use to be considered unlucky and a bad omen to have a woman on board a ship.
2) the figure heads on the front of a boat (usually a woman with baring breasts) though aesthetically pleasing had no real use other then for superstition and aesthetic.

"your as useless as tits on a boat"

by Felix Greene April 2, 2009

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smurf tits

when your woman makes the mistake of telling you to squeeze her tits harder and the results end in blue bruises covering her now sore blue tits

I was told to squeeze her tits so hard last night they turned blue like smurf tits.

by DKTRANSPORTER September 20, 2014

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River Tits

The act of slinging ones cock over a females shoulder, then proceeding to urinate over her shoulder between her tits, creating a river of urine through her tits.

After he took her home last night, Søren told me that he gave that girl a set of River Tits with a heavier flow than the Mighty Mississippi.

by Phil T. Blumpkin Jr. September 21, 2015

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church tits

When a girl has breasts that look small but are actually huge.

I hooked up with her last night and damn, she has church tits!

by pancakegirl January 9, 2016

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Tit test

A sneaky way to see if a girl's snatch stinks.
Finger said broad, rub wet fingers on tit of your choice, smell the tit to evaluate the stank from her nether region.

Never get caught smelling your fingers again!

I hooked up with Martha last night... Give her the tit test, thank God! Her snapper was stankin'!

by Rustle ohms August 26, 2019

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