i'm not even joking

A phrase said when you say something so outlandish or unrealistic that one may believe you are just saying it as a joke and don't actually mean it, so you say this to make it clear you're dead serious.

Person 1: HOLY SHIT, MY FAMILY JUST GOT SHOT TO DEATH BY A BANANA!!! I'M NOT EVEN JOKING!!!

by an extremely depressed bandu May 17, 2023

I'm gonna take my horse

To the old town road
I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more
I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road
I'm gonna ride (Kio, Kio) 'til I can't no more
I got the horses in the back
Horse tack is attached
Hat is matte black
Got the boots that's black to match
Riding on a horse, ha
You can whip your Porsche
I been in the valley
You ain't been up off the porch, now
Can't nobody tell me nothing
You can't tell me nothing
Can't nobody tell me nothing
You can't tell me nothing
Riding on a tractor
Lean all in my bladder
Cheated on my baby
You can go and ask her
My life is a movie
Bull riding and boobies
Cowboy hat from Gucci
Wrangler on my booty
Can't nobody tell me nothing
You can't tell me nothing
Can't nobody tell me nothing
You can't tell me nothing
Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse
To the old town road
I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more
I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road
I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more

I'm gonna take my horse to that old town road

by darkclaw wolfgod November 20, 2021

I'm the schmuck who forgot that "anything goes" when I gave the lost Ark to "top men".

It belongs in a museum!

Yes, Dad --- I admit that I'm the schmuck who forgot that "anything goes" when I gave the lost Ark to "top men". Yeah, yeah --- just like I stupidly let your Grail diary fall into the hands of the Nazis! Don't call me "Junior".

by QuacksO December 1, 2023

Now I'm gay

What you say when you first look at a picture of Danny Devito

Guy:*Looks at a picture of Danny Devito* Well, Now I'm gay

by ThePurpleDoggo May 11, 2020

I don't know i'm Thuli

Something you say when you don't know a topic or an answer. It is a form of ragebait against your peers. Originated from the island of Sri Lanka, where it was found written on a slab of clay, in an unknown language.

Mike: Yo did you fix your car
Kelvin: I don't know i'm Thuli...

by Matthew Regozo October 28, 2025

I'm bmvdybge

I'm so angry and sadge that I cba to think of a word to describe me

Jo- you're a bitchy bitch face
Me- omg you poopoohead now I'm bmvdybge
Jo- oh no I'm so sorry

by Nangrad January 3, 2023

No I'm not

You can't tell the difference between a position you've agreed with you consorts to take and you are hoping that your audience can't do the same IN THE SAME EXACT WAY you can't tell the difference between you God being real and your God not being real or you can't tell whether or not you're a piece of shit.

Hym "So no I'm not. You have taken the position 'Everything you said but about you.' So you can sneak my work out the back door. It's burglary what you are doing and burglary that is going to cost you."

by Hym Iam September 25, 2025