Canada's History is a depraved sexual act first performed around 1898 in the lawless Yukon territory by "Meaty" Georges Gagnon, a French-Canadian prospector during the Klondike Gold Rush. Georges performed the act on many willing and unwilling men, women, children, and domesticated animals (the rumors of this act being performed on moose and kodiak bears are unconfirmed). The act was called a "Dark mar on Canada's History" by local politicians, and "the only interesting thing in Canada's History" by American papers sensationalizing the Klondike Gold Rush.
The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.
Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.
Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.
The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.
The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.
Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.
Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.
The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.
Roommate 1: Geez, eh, you were loud last night with that girl. What were you doing in there, Canadas History?
Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.
Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.
Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.
Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.
by kingkongNINJA February 6, 2010
Get the canadas history mug.A Canadian Towelette is when you dip your balls into a glass of beer (whether it is your own or someone else's largely depends on how drunk you are) and then gently lay them across someone's forehead. This is much easier to accomplish if they are passed out. The mixture of ball sweat and beer will slowly trickle down their face, much like a moist towelette.
"Damn, look at Lee's face! Why's it all wet like that?"
"Aw bro, he was being a dick and passed out so I took his beer, dipped my balls in it and gave him the ol' Canadian Towelette."
"Holy shit! Dude just woke up and took a swig! Haha, what a stupid chud!"
"Aw bro, he was being a dick and passed out so I took his beer, dipped my balls in it and gave him the ol' Canadian Towelette."
"Holy shit! Dude just woke up and took a swig! Haha, what a stupid chud!"
by Elindale January 6, 2010
Get the Canadian Towelette mug.Related Words
canade
• Canadese
• Canadenial
• Canadering
• canadette
• camp canadensis
• Canada's History
• Canada
• canadians
• Canadia
by ihavespoe July 10, 2012
Get the Canadian prom dress mug.by jimbobenstein March 12, 2013
Get the canadize mug.The empty plastic bladder inside a finished-off box of wine that can find new life once inflated for use as a bath pillow.
Or just shorthand for cheap box wine.
Or just shorthand for cheap box wine.
by Chack'n January 10, 2014
Get the Canadian Bath Pillow mug.The act of putting your thumb in someone else's ass. Upon removal you may be left with some pudding on your thumb. The flavor of pudding will vary depending on the recipient's recent diet.
Check out the turd cutter on that chick! I would love to give her the Canadian pudding pop. I hope she had fruit loops for breakfast, eh!
by the bowler September 3, 2014
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