A pretty funny comedian (if you like his kind of humor) from a small town in Nebraska whose real name is Daniel Whitney and is famous for his redneckish comedic act on The Blue Collar Comedy Tour. He is acting and talking as a redneck, but in fact sounds very Upper Midwestern, which is evident when watching his interviews.
Jokes from Larry the Cable Guy:
"We were throwin M-80s in the water (explosion sound with mouth) watchin the fish fly up. Yeah, we blew the aquarium at the dentist's office all to Hell."
"I called one of them 900 talk-dirty numbers the other day; you ever call one of them? Two people, that's it? And those voices sounded familiar to be honest with you. Well don't call it, it's a rip-off. I got a girl that stuttered and it cost me $1,700 on that deal in there."
"My brother celebrated his 2nd wedding anniversary, and they was goin to celebrate. He wanted to have sex, and she wanted to go to Outback, and my grandmother wanted to go to church, have em rededicate the wedding vows. So, they all compromised and they had sex outback of the church."
"We were throwin M-80s in the water (explosion sound with mouth) watchin the fish fly up. Yeah, we blew the aquarium at the dentist's office all to Hell."
"I called one of them 900 talk-dirty numbers the other day; you ever call one of them? Two people, that's it? And those voices sounded familiar to be honest with you. Well don't call it, it's a rip-off. I got a girl that stuttered and it cost me $1,700 on that deal in there."
"My brother celebrated his 2nd wedding anniversary, and they was goin to celebrate. He wanted to have sex, and she wanted to go to Outback, and my grandmother wanted to go to church, have em rededicate the wedding vows. So, they all compromised and they had sex outback of the church."
by Ryan J. February 20, 2009
Get the Larry the Cable Guy mug.Double titty twister. Preformed on an unsuspecting victim by either leading into by questioning, or by complete surprise attack. Once preformed, prepare for your victims relflexes to kick in, you might get caught in their rage.
***Warning: If preformed several times you might find yourself with few friends.
***Warning: If preformed several times you might find yourself with few friends.
Jerry: So, Brittany, do you know what jumper cables are?
Brittany: Uhh... no... why?
Jerry: Oh! Well nevermi.... JUMPER CABLES!!!
*Jumper cables are preformed*
Brittany: Fuck you Jerry! You just lost a friend!
Brittany: Uhh... no... why?
Jerry: Oh! Well nevermi.... JUMPER CABLES!!!
*Jumper cables are preformed*
Brittany: Fuck you Jerry! You just lost a friend!
by benormous May 5, 2006
Get the jumper cables mug.A religion that believes in masturbation, stoners, sex before marriage etc. Wanna become part of it? There, now you are, no church, no money needed, no hassle, just go with the holidays like jerk off a horse day.
Karen: christianity will always accept you if you try to wash yourself from your sins!
Eric: nah, I already got a religion called Cable! Now go play soggy biscuit with yourself
Eric: nah, I already got a religion called Cable! Now go play soggy biscuit with yourself
by Cable-priest May 13, 2019
Get the Cable mug.television channels that can be watched without paying for cable services. when you live out in the country and no advanced cable is offered u get cowboy cable. usually just the local news channels
person 1: "hey did you see that special on HBO last night?
persin 2: "dude you know i only have cowboy cable i had to watch freakin greys anatomy again"
persin 2: "dude you know i only have cowboy cable i had to watch freakin greys anatomy again"
by Cole Pat D. October 19, 2007
Get the cowboy cable mug.Stephanie and I missed out on the latest episode of Game of Thrones on HBO because we are non cablers.
by kiso June 21, 2013
Get the Non Cabler mug.by Timothy Boniface August 2, 2008
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