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close reading

Reading a book in a state of exhaustion, resulting in ones face dropping steadily closer to the page.
I was at the library doing some close reading. Woke up and I had dissolved several verses of Keats in drool.
by Luke T September 29, 2007
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Reading the Newspaper

Reading the newspaper is the act of jacking off, beating the meat, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, buffing the banana, wanking off, pocket pool, pleasure yourself, or just plain old masturbation.
Caitlyn: I don't read the newspaper not three, not four, but fifty-six times daily!

Taylor: Ohh girl, I got choo and I love using anime as an aid to reading the newspaper!

Monica: My mom reads the newspaper, every morning before breakfast..
by t0uchmiib0dy August 2, 2008
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Reading Grandma A Bedtime Story

To masturbate while eating out old women-also known as playing Counter Strike.
by DIE May 28, 2003
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Reading Textbooks

Joe: Hey Bob wanna go and start reading textbooks after school today?
Bob: Hell yeah!
Uninformed kid: Oh wow they sure like studying. They don't look like the type to care about school.
by Ightweed January 9, 2015
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I'm not reading that

A phrase used for when a piece of text disgusts you.
Person A: Hey, can you go on Urban Dictionary and look up Surprise Party?

Person B: *looks it up*

... I'm not reading that.
by ChameleonDragon December 21, 2019
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Reading

When referring to a woman's breasts, size depends on how well she reads. The larger the size, the better she reads. Also another name for cleveage.
1) That girl definately looks like she's been reading...

2) Wow, you must have started reading early.
3) I just bounced my last shot off her reading.
by LibraryRapist September 20, 2009
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