Just the sight of the Jonas Fuckers makes every guys (even gay guys) scrotum retract into their body, the "band" consists of 3 hermaphrodites who are named Fagola, Fagzilla and Fagazoid who are really good at attracting 9 year old girls because of their spray on looks and photoshopped pictures. The Jonas Fuckers are shitty guitarists and basically the worst thing that has ever happened to Gibson making me want to go chuck mine off of a cliff and then burn it. A common misconception about this so called "band" is that they have any talent at all, another screw up by disney to get little children into their park so they can molest them.
Fagola- "Let's go pound our faces into the keyboard and the result will be our next Jonas Brothers song"
Fagazoid- "I'm going to shove a jelly bean in your asshole, i'd use my dick but it's not big enough"
Fagzilla- "I DO COCAINE!!!"
Fagazoid- "I'm going to shove a jelly bean in your asshole, i'd use my dick but it's not big enough"
Fagzilla- "I DO COCAINE!!!"
by ozfox July 21, 2010
Get the Jonas Brothers mug.Probably any mature person with at least a modicum of taste, dignity and the ability to resist countless cringe-worthy marketing schemes from soulless entities such as (mainly) the Disney corporation.
an example of something you may hear from the mouths of so called 'Jonas brothers haters' when prompted:
"I think for myself."
Enough said!
"I think for myself."
Enough said!
by SlimTony June 9, 2009
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by Jonas sten hater March 8, 2022
Get the Jonas sten mug.Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas were born in the hospital in Disneyworld, during the gay pride parade. They were born as triplets, however the last two were born a few years later. After her mother was done giving birth to Nick, she killed herself after realizing she wasted 5 years of her life in a hospital. Their father, knowing that he was an incompetent unemployed drunk, dropped them off at the nearest church.
The priest came to the church one day after his nightly visit to the gay strip bar. He found the three boys and brought them in. He decided he must name these "gifts from god". Coincidentally, he decided to name them Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. The next few years, Nick, Kevin, and Joe had to beg on the street for money and food while the priest "helped out" at the young boys and girls club.
When Nick was old enough to speak, at age 5, he whined at local shops about his life and how hard it was. A music producer thought he had a nice whining voice. He asked him if he would sign a contract that would be a great financial gain to him. He agreed, and began recording whining with music in the background. For the next 7 years, his voice grew no deeper.
The record producer realized his mistake, and shipped Nick, along with his two older brothers, off to columbia. There, they were discovered by the national record company, Columbia Records. The three of them made a band under the name "Kracktor", and labeled themselves as brutal progressive black death power heavy metal/polka.
Nick could not do the death scream, however, and they had to change their music. They simplified it to 3 power chords played over, and over. Unfortunately, they weren't selling with Columbia. One day, while sitting by a hickory stump, the devil appeared and challenged them to a fiddle challenge.
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too, and if you'll care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. You play a pretty good fiddle, but give the devil his due, I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cos' I think I'm better than you." The devil said to them. Nick mindlessly accepted, before realizing he had no fiddle, or a soul for that matter.
The devil, realizing he won by default, brought them to his secret headquarters and sold them to his head company, Disney. Disney realized the potential in their looks towards premature mainstream zombies and threw the brothers in a few movies and marketed them on everything.
Today, the Jonas brothers live in hell, along with the devil and his disney army. They create mindless songs that get stuck in your head until you want to throw up.
The priest came to the church one day after his nightly visit to the gay strip bar. He found the three boys and brought them in. He decided he must name these "gifts from god". Coincidentally, he decided to name them Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas. The next few years, Nick, Kevin, and Joe had to beg on the street for money and food while the priest "helped out" at the young boys and girls club.
When Nick was old enough to speak, at age 5, he whined at local shops about his life and how hard it was. A music producer thought he had a nice whining voice. He asked him if he would sign a contract that would be a great financial gain to him. He agreed, and began recording whining with music in the background. For the next 7 years, his voice grew no deeper.
The record producer realized his mistake, and shipped Nick, along with his two older brothers, off to columbia. There, they were discovered by the national record company, Columbia Records. The three of them made a band under the name "Kracktor", and labeled themselves as brutal progressive black death power heavy metal/polka.
Nick could not do the death scream, however, and they had to change their music. They simplified it to 3 power chords played over, and over. Unfortunately, they weren't selling with Columbia. One day, while sitting by a hickory stump, the devil appeared and challenged them to a fiddle challenge.
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a fiddle player too, and if you'll care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you. You play a pretty good fiddle, but give the devil his due, I bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cos' I think I'm better than you." The devil said to them. Nick mindlessly accepted, before realizing he had no fiddle, or a soul for that matter.
The devil, realizing he won by default, brought them to his secret headquarters and sold them to his head company, Disney. Disney realized the potential in their looks towards premature mainstream zombies and threw the brothers in a few movies and marketed them on everything.
Today, the Jonas brothers live in hell, along with the devil and his disney army. They create mindless songs that get stuck in your head until you want to throw up.
by trust me, you dont want to kno October 15, 2008
Get the Jonas Brothers mug.An openly gay band of 'brothers' that (suck each others dicks) wears tight ass jeans in hopes to get straight guys to think its 'cool'.
by M4KMVR January 16, 2009
Get the Jonas Brothers mug.A trio of homosexuals that create simple, bland melodies that are extremely popular among the mainstream media for no apparent reason.
"hey who are those fags from disney channel that make those shitty songs?"
"Oh, you mean the Jonas Brothers?"
"Oh, you mean the Jonas Brothers?"
by KEEPitREEL March 18, 2009
Get the Jonas Brothers mug.The retard above me is tottally wrong about them. A Jonas Brothers Hater is someone who has hit puberty, unlke the person above me who is probably a nine year old girl like the rest of the Jonas Brothers Fans. This is someone who has a good taste in music and has lots of friends because they have a good taste in music. Guy Jonas Brothers fans dont like them because most actually know a good singing voice, Girl Jonas Brothers hate them because of the same reason and also have a better taste in men unlike their fans who drool over their 3 centimeter dick's.
Jonas Brothers walk by...and a bunch of 9 year old girls follow.
Boy Jonas Brothers Hater: Wow look at those faggots, even I could sing better than them.
Girl Jonas Brothers Hater: They are so ugly, I feel sorry for all those 9 year old girls drooling over their 3 centimeter dick.
9 year old girl: Shut up! Ur just jelous because your not as famous as they are! Your just jealous! (x10).
*9 year old girl gets beat up by both of them*
Boy Jonas Brothers Hater: Hey wanna go out?
Girl Jonas Brothers Hater: Sure!
Boy Jonas Brothers Hater: Wow look at those faggots, even I could sing better than them.
Girl Jonas Brothers Hater: They are so ugly, I feel sorry for all those 9 year old girls drooling over their 3 centimeter dick.
9 year old girl: Shut up! Ur just jelous because your not as famous as they are! Your just jealous! (x10).
*9 year old girl gets beat up by both of them*
Boy Jonas Brothers Hater: Hey wanna go out?
Girl Jonas Brothers Hater: Sure!
by Im A Jonas Brothers Hater August 22, 2009
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