A term used by mathematicians and logicians to indicate that something happens under very specific conditions. Often seen in proofs and theories.
1) The sum a geometric sequence is given by a/(1-r) if and only if |r| < 1.
2) In a bar:
dumped guy: "My girlfriend left me because I told her I loved her!"
other guy: "What a bitch!"
dumped guy: "No, it's all my fault, she's a mathematician, and I should have said 'I love you and only you'".
2) In a bar:
dumped guy: "My girlfriend left me because I told her I loved her!"
other guy: "What a bitch!"
dumped guy: "No, it's all my fault, she's a mathematician, and I should have said 'I love you and only you'".
by berkanator September 6, 2005
Get the if and only if mug.Me: I think planking is the dumbest thing ever
Friend: Well I like it
Me: My facebook status , my opinion . "if you can't stand the heat , get out the kitchen" & mind your business.
Friend: Well I like it
Me: My facebook status , my opinion . "if you can't stand the heat , get out the kitchen" & mind your business.
by CIbeast July 1, 2011
Get the if you can't stand the heat , get out the kitchen mug.Something to say after you've said literally anything, unless what you've just said actually contained a pun.
Made popular by the wonderful Moses Beacon, from the excellent comedy 'Come Fly With Me'.
Made popular by the wonderful Moses Beacon, from the excellent comedy 'Come Fly With Me'.
by Smackaine January 27, 2011
Get the If you'll pardon the pun mug.When the position you're in is so disastrous that something has to be done to improve it. Otherwise it may come to an end.
Freddie and Fannie... yet have survived under the implicit understanding that the US Government will always bail them out if push came to shove...
BBC news
BBC news
by le1 October 22, 2008
Get the if push came to shove mug.A conversational endpoint that you use when some little whiny worm is complaining to you and you are sick of it. Will often belittle complainer and give complain-ee a defining sense of satisfaction.
Whining little worm: Ughhhh, I got dirty snow on my Uggs, and my cell phone is broken, and things are really hard at home with my parents and ugh I'm just so stressed!
Me: . . . if only bananas were longer. . .
Whining Little Worm: *Silence*
Me: . . . if only bananas were longer. . .
Whining Little Worm: *Silence*
by Pi@noguy January 13, 2011
Get the . . . if only bananas were longer. . . mug.by Robert Ebguy April 23, 2006
Get the if that don't slam the outhouse door mug.the contemporary pidgin-hawaiian mantra of applying spit to a male's genitalia when it will not fit in a female's genitalia.
by Dr. Ren_Ayanami, Ph.D January 27, 2005
Get the if no fit, put spit mug.