Jealousy Wanking

When one masturbates over an erotic situation that simultaneously makes them feel jealous.

When Mark found videos of his wife Jessie having an affair he quickly found himself Jealousy Wanking.

by IndiLee November 9, 2023

a nigel suicide speed wank

when your having a wank just before blowing your mayonnaise load, shout out Mum!!!!(diseased and rotting). bring my dinner up please, then try and finish the job before she gets into your room

a nigel suicide speed wank cool

by mrs tosser October 19, 2025

Climate Wanking

When politicians or the elite complain about climate change and how the world is coming to an end, and essentially use it to get votes from people who care or as a crutch for NOT talking about actual problems the world faces.

Keith: Dude, I have been so busy, I have not read anything about the latest G20 Summit, have you been following?

Mike: Ya, it is the same Climate Wanking all the time. I wish they would talk about China running the world economy, or how to get people back to work.

Keith: Ugh, Climate Wanking, such a waste of time. No wonder everyone hates these politicians and condescending celebrities. Talk about real world stuff, bruh.

by Mike109999 November 2, 2021

Soggy Wank Wad

When you produce a mass of sperm/vaginal juice and wipe it up with a large amount of tissues.

Dude, I exploded and had to make a Soggy Wank Wad.

by gyhmjykgu12 March 20, 2011

Wanked

1. hitting or getting hit by something
2. another word for using that good ole hand of yours

1. Jim: "woah I think I just got wanked by something"
John: "oh man did it hurt"
Jim: "nah wasn't too wanky"
2. Alvin: "hey what did you do yesterday"
Jason: "oh I just wanked off most the night"
Alvin: "oh same"

by dontgetwanked May 30, 2017

Wank station

A small area dedicated to the upkeep and maintenance of ones manhood

I put a big shift in last night at the wank station really feeling it today

by Uncleboozer August 22, 2019

1984 Wank

When the you don't have access to porn so you have to use your imagination to masturbate.

Person 1: 'The battery went on my phone while I was trying to find some porn!'

Person 2: 'Gutted for you'

Person 1: 'It's okay I just had a 1984 wank instead. Takes a bit longer but gets the job done.'

by Phillyfella July 22, 2021