Turtle with a 12 pack

A turtle that is always trying to knock you out with a person with a buzz cut whose head is always cold
person1 Dude i got hit by a turtle with a 12 pack today it sucked
person2 that sucks
by Oassis__ May 09, 2019
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Turtleing

When you have to shit so bad that it feels like it is starting to poke out, like a turtle’s head poking out of its shell.
by urbandictionary000001 October 17, 2020
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Turtleing

A sexual act involving hemispheroid objects, such as turtles, bowls, helmets, etc. To turtle, the object is stuffed inside a woman's vagina (or anyone's anus)
Bitch#1: OMG Guy#1 and i were eating breakfast and after he finished his cereal he started turtleing me with his cereal bowl! It was so much fun!
Bitch#2: Lucky slut i wish my man would turtle me
by blōndĝinĝer February 06, 2011
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Turtleing

When one is so drunk on good times (possibly some alcohol in there somewhere) and he proceeds to fall on the ground, and tries to get up but instead does this rocking motion because his world is spinning profusely, much like a turtle when on its back or shell.
Dude joeys so hammered right now he's in the living room turtleing as we speak.

No joke you turtled last night and I damn near defecated myself laughing so hard.
by Ginglife March 02, 2015
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Pettin’ the Turtle

A situation when one takes an incomplete shit, leaving a protruding “turtle head” behind. The shitter then must pet the lodged turtle head approximately 70 times with toilet paper or moist wipes, shitter’s choice of course.
Mary was pettin’ the turtle for a solid hour after the lunch special at Benihana.
by Daddylongdick813 October 30, 2019
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my turtles

Used as a pick-up line to refer to ones own pubic hair(s). pubs bush exotic turtle hairy
Would you like to go look at my turtles, they are pretty exotic.
by Smokey's pubs February 25, 2014
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Condom Turtle

A visible erection through the condom.
I leaned over, in an attempt to hide my condom turtle.
by DashiellShatter May 30, 2023
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