wank noodle

A term for the male reproductive organ known as a penis.

Jim cried out in pain after he was struck in his wank noodle.

by ThatPurple July 29, 2017

Wanking the dog

To waste time doing something unecessary.

Example: Gary got fired for wanking the dog.

by PotsNPan July 16, 2021

Crazy Wank

The act of viciously masturbating fully naked for over 5 minutes. Throughout the process the subject uses his hand to stroke his penis to near ejaculation, then the subject relaxes for a bit. Then the subject continued to slightly stroke his penis and then he uses a sex toy (store bought or hand made) and places it in a position where it won't move around a lot and the subject viciously fucks the sex toy until near ejaculation. Then the subject is free to experiment with unusual kinds of sexual acts (ex: finger in the bum, other masturbation teqniques, other kinky fetishs). Then once the subject is satisfied withhimself and ready to ejaculate, he must use up the rest of the lube on his penis and hands, and then it is time for the last hurrah. The subject firmly grasps his penis and then he strokes it much faster and harder and it should give the individual a sensation of both mild pain and crazy erotic pleasure. The individual moans to make the procedure much more impactful and when he reaches the climax, the procedure is complete.

Carl: bro I just haven't jacked off at all recently. I'm just not into it anymore

Eddie: last night I had a CRAZY WANK and I will tell you, I changed my life!

by Derkadurr August 5, 2017

Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024

Bombay wank

When a man eats hot Bombay mix and then proceeds to pleasure himself

Wow that was a hot Bombay wank!

by Rave at home April 4, 2015

Wank

Thy Royal Highness

Shystal: Where Is Thy Royal Highness?

Maria: Who, Wank? I Know Where He's Not At... The Bathtub 🤮

by The Real Escobar August 28, 2021

posh wank

posh wank (plural posh wanks) (UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand) (slang, vulgar) An act of male masturbation with a condom placed over the penis. Churchy bought a packet of condoms so that he could have a posh wank

posh wank (plural posh wanks) (UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand) (slang, vulgar) An act of male masturbation with a condom placed over the penis. Churchy bought a packet of condoms so that he could have a posh wank

by TheMightyHorn November 11, 2022