goose taking off

The act of leaning far forward whilst sitting on the toilet to help ease out a particularly difficult/large stool

“Mate that was terrible, I’m all backed up, it was so bad I was leaning forward like a goose taking off trying to squeeze that one out”

by TheAntiDote2019 July 11, 2023

Front Talking

Back Talking, but front.

remember you cant back answer only front talking

by The Squiggle Human of Wonder July 30, 2023

Shit Talking

@itzzlxdyyyy

I told you If you look up “shit talking” IM THE DEFINITION 🤣

by yun6d3liqu3n7 August 8, 2023

National talking stage day

Invite your talking stage on a date and celebrate almost being in a relationship.

Jimmy: Emily let's go celebrate we are in a talking stage
Emily: why today?
Jimmy: it's national talking stage day!!

by National.day October 2, 2023

Tilley Tanking

When you're so low on diesel that even a tenner won't move the needle on the guage.

I'm not sure I'm going to make it to the meeting without fillling up, I'm Tilley Tanking

by Theyellowdartsmith November 21, 2023

Asians taking a lie detector test

POV:
ur asian taking a lie detector test
Son: "Hey dad, I took a lie detector test today."
Dad: "Oh ok, what score you get?"
Son: "Uh...it's a lie detector test, dad. There's no score, you either pass or fail."
Dad: "Okay, so did you pass or no?"
Son: "Well, you didn't want me to tell them how you raped my sister, right?"
Dad: "Shhh! Quiet! Someone could here you!"
Son: "Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, I lied about that, so you wouldn't get in trouble."
Dad: "Ok, good boy."
Son: "But the thing is... they detected that I had lied."
Dad: "WHAT??? FBI GUNNA SHOW UP AT DA FRONT DOR ANY MINUT NOW! STOOBID!"

Son: "No dad, they won't. I killed them all before they could call the cops."
Dad: *stares at son for a while* "Okay, good boy. You want some ice cream?"
Son: "Uh....Sure, but that's not all."
Dad: "Oh my god. What now, son? Hah?"
Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."

Dude 1: Did you hear about those asians taking a lie detector test?
Dude 2: Yeah, I haven't seen 'em since, do you know where they are?
Dude 1: No...

by PORGSSSS November 28, 2023

Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2

Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
Dad: *pulls off shoe and throws it at son*
Son: "Ow! Dad, don't you want this? This way no one will kn-"

Dad: *pulls out glock 19 and starts firing at son*
Son: *barely dodges bullets* "Dad, stop!"
Dad: "You fail test! You stoobid! You not my son!" *pulls out AK-102*
Son: *gets hit in leg* "Ow! Dad, you have to stop!"
Dad: *ignores son* *dismembers son with five shells from a Challenger 2*
Son: *groans in agony*
Dad: *tases what's left of son's body *
Son: *attempts to scream in agony, but instead blood comes out of his mouth*
Dad: "You not my son! Son no fail test!" *lifts off in a A-10 Warthog armed with the Gauzer machine gun*
Son: "Please dad.....please..."
Dad: *crashes plane into son, ejecting himself 30 inches from the ground*
Son: .
Dad: *raids a U.S. Army bunker and steals 10 nukes*
Dad: *nukes house with son in it, then nukes the whole country just for good measure*
Dad: *evades paparazzi and kills families to live in their houses for 4 decades*
Dad: *becomes president, nukes the world then uses mods to terraform Mars*
Dad: *rapes your mom 10 times to repopulate the human race*
Dad: *eventually dies at age 142, wearing a suit with a red rose in his lapel and sunglasses*

No wonder we never saw that kid again.... Holy shit!

And that's why you've never heard of: Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2

by PORGSSSS November 28, 2023