Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 09, 2024

Test Wank

The act of checking the captain is awake after having a skin full. Usually in a pub toilet.

The good lady wife says I'm on a promise and I've had 8 gins. I'm off for a test wank

by Paul A Radcliffe May 23, 2023

crab wank

When one of the mandem decides to have a crafty one by lowering himself like a crab and starts the ritual of going ham on the hog, gripping his cock soo tightly it goes purple and tears the fuck out of his cheesy stinky foreskin

Yo bruv transnigger do u want to join me for a crab wank over some ass fucking Micheal fucking a 6 year old porn and then after platting a dirty ass hole then find Micheal the fucking spastic ass licking fucking cunt herion addict trans nigger bitch then deck the mother fucking four eyed blind homo faggot

by ill eat your pussy juice every April 21, 2017

multi-wank

When you are trying to masturbate and your girlfriend, mom, sister, Aunt, etc. walks past and you have to quickly change the website.

Guy 1: Did you see the porn website I emailed you?

Guy2: No, I couldn't, my mom was home and I had to multi-wank, but I did it when she fell asleep.

by Tylah808 March 08, 2011

Wank nozzle

Wank nozzle, a term used as a synonym for ‘dick’ or ‘dickhead’.

“Ugh that boy is such a wank nozzle”

by PigmentedPlum June 10, 2021

Half wank

When you start to wank and intend to finish but get unexpextedly interupted during the act and are not able to finish your wank.

Frank was wanking of in his room but suddenly realized that he left the stove on. He went down to kitchen and put it out. In this process he forgot about the wanking and therefore only ended up with a half wank.

by Aviemore halb wixer March 10, 2018

tranq wank

The “Tranq (short for tranquilliser) Wank”.

The wank you execute to help yourself fall asleep at night. More functional than enjoyable!

Am shattered but with so much on my mind, I’m worried I may not drop off…. Definitely going to have a quick fire tranq wank

by Beggzie007 January 31, 2024