An arborist in upstate NY who employes felons.
Felon: "hey Carl, you hiring?"
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."
by Double take July 10, 2025

by Sohn von mystical tree September 17, 2023

A tree at CTV Toronto in Agincourt, Scarborough where junior employees go to cry after they have been shouted at by management.
Natalie: Where is Sarah? I need her to work on a story.
Sam: She’s in tears at the crying tree… after you yelled at her.
Sam: She’s in tears at the crying tree… after you yelled at her.
by udson82 June 14, 2022

Getting a fishing hook stuck in a tree numerous times only to have the weight alone come back and fuck your knee up
by CoochieMan6942005 May 25, 2021

When you're cumming and you swing your penis side to side slapping your thighs spraying cum everywhere.
As I was jacking off my boyfriend and he pulls his penis out of my hand and he started swinging the tree all over me.
by Diamond Dann October 8, 2022

a tree full of sad discordians
most of them are in love with fictional characters they will never meet
they need to get a life
most of them are in love with fictional characters they will never meet
they need to get a life
by cody69420 October 11, 2021

by gusbydoodledandy March 21, 2016
