Fellon's Tree Removal

An arborist in upstate NY who employes felons.

Felon: "hey Carl, you hiring?"
Carl: "Yeah Dude, can you run a chainsaw?"
Felon: "fuck yeah dude! I got tons of experience in that! I chainsawed my girlfriend into pieces. That's how I got my first felony!"
Carl: "Right on. When can you start?"
Felon: "Right after I get that body out of my trunk... Can I run the wood chipper too?"
Carl: "Of course. You at clearly qualified and trustworthy. Welcome to Fellon's Tree Removal."

by Double take July 10, 2025

Mystical tree

The root where all wisdom is born.

The mystical tree enlightened me about what women really want!

by Sohn von mystical tree September 17, 2023

Crying tree

A tree at CTV Toronto in Agincourt, Scarborough where junior employees go to cry after they have been shouted at by management.

Natalie: Where is Sarah? I need her to work on a story.

Sam: She’s in tears at the crying tree… after you yelled at her.

by udson82 June 14, 2022

Tree Fucked

Getting a fishing hook stuck in a tree numerous times only to have the weight alone come back and fuck your knee up

Today I got tree fucked after my damn hook got hung up on that there tree

by CoochieMan6942005 May 25, 2021

Swinging the tree

When you're cumming and you swing your penis side to side slapping your thighs spraying cum everywhere.

As I was jacking off my boyfriend and he pulls his penis out of my hand and he started swinging the tree all over me.

by Diamond Dann October 8, 2022

Plum Tree

a tree full of sad discordians
most of them are in love with fictional characters they will never meet
they need to get a life

wow the plum tree is such a sad sight

by cody69420 October 11, 2021

tree wedging

When one continuously rubs their vagina or penis against a tree until satisfied.

Martha thinks tree wedging is fun.

by gusbydoodledandy March 21, 2016