Bidet shit

A poop or shit that splashes toilet bowl water onto your bootie hole crack area therefore washing off the poop.

I went to take a shit, but there was no poop in the toilet paper, the bidet shit washed me out very well.

by Moose45 March 28, 2019

Vomit Bidet

When one person squats over another who is laying on their back and farts into their mouth until the person laying on their back projectile vomits into the squatting persons asshole

I ate so much broccoli today i cant wait for you to give me a vomit bidet from my farts.

by skoolbuss February 3, 2024

Bidet

Giving yourself a bidet

When you poop and the toilet water splashes up at your butthole

Guy 1: I just gave myself a bidet!
Guy 2: you must’ve had a huge poop!

by boboobobobob December 6, 2019

Redneck bidet

Carefully pinching your anus as a log is dropping to create a splash, creating enough of a splash to clean your asshole

Went drinking last night and I’m stuck at work w/ swamp ass
on a 12 hour shift w/ no baby wipes , just had to do a redneck bidet

by Falkowitz December 8, 2020

Scotch Bidet

The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1

There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet

by Bigcid March 21, 2020

Poor Man's Bidet

When you poop and it plops into the water and splashes your bottom.

"That just splashed all over me!"
"Poor man's bidet"

by kiefferteefer March 20, 2023

Bidet tears

Bidet tears: when someone's tears are so pathetic you want to wipe your ass with them.

I wish my ex would stop trying to guilt me into a mercy fuck with his bidet tears.

by anonymous January 23, 2022