Skip to main content

Jesus

A Jewish man with high ideals that came out on the rotten end of the stick. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus never proclaimed himself the "Son of God", and in fact was only seen as a regular mortal until the Council of Nicea in 325, where the Christian Emperor Constantine proclaimed that Jesus was indeed Divine.
His name, Jesus Christ is purely fictional as well. Jesus was his name, however the latter "Christ" was not tacked on until much later, "Christ" meaning messiah, and derived from the word Christos.

Jesus was part of a religious society that preached love and humility amongst other humans. The Jews, however, were a constant thorn in the Empire's side, and Jesus was seen as a political dissenter, and was sentenced to die so as to make an example to others. A funny note to Jesus' death is that
A) Being crucified was nothing special; in fact, mostly anyone that was seen as a political enemy of the Empire was killed in this fashion (so no, Jesus was not special in this), and
B) It wasn't actually a cross that he was crucified on, it was a capital "T". The top bar, making it look like a lowercase "t", was only later added by the church.

When Jesus was crucified, however, no one seemed to care, and everyone went about their lives. It was only when Jesus' brother James (whom the church denies ever existed) was killed on the steps on the Temple of Solomon that the Jews rose up against the Authoritarian Romans (See: Temple of Solomon; Temple of Herod; Titus). So in truth, no one really knew Jesus existed. He was just another man to all of these people, albeit a demi-prophet.

It wasn't until later that the idea of Christianity was adopted, by the so called St. Paul. The problem with Paul's story, however, was that he was a Gentile (non-Jew) in Roman employ, and created the Christian church for purely political and self-serving reasons. Most of what he based the church on is completely fake, and was actually stolen from other religions, i.e.:

1) Mithras, the soldiers' God, was born in a cave to a virgin to free mankind from evil
2) Egyptian theological drawings always used a halo, mostly to represent something to do with divinity and the sun

... and many other things.

So in truth, Jesus was just a man that lived, and died. Most christians are completely blinded by their religious dogma to accept this however, and therefore Jesus will always be viewed as the "Son of God"
Jesus was born, lived in a theological-centered society, and was killed. Now he's being used for political purposes, or for greed in most cases.
by Matthew Johnston December 10, 2008
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

The name of which we name all our children from henceforth, or there will be no second coming.
Jesus 2: Redemption Day
by captain fruit punch December 3, 2018
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

The single greatest person in the history of everything.
historian: Did you know jesus and Moses used guns to defeat the romans?
by The Great American October 7, 2008
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

Jesus
Je sus
He sus
wait- your sus, don't you already know who he is?
Among us player: Is jesus sus?
Me: Yeah Jesus is sus.
Joe: He sus!
by a black girl on the internet November 29, 2020
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

Alien looking ass with a big forehead. He's a skater and he's actually not that bad. Kind of short but his funniness makes up for it. He's kinda weird too, he usually smiles at random things like doors or walls. Jesus does quick glances at anything. Jesus is like a cartoon character he always wears the same clothes.
friend 1: have u seen jesus?
friend 2: is he the one with the big forehead
by thiccthanos November 26, 2018
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

Jesus is a nice asian boy. he is very smart, obviously, and likes black people. he was good looking, and now even more, he likes fashion and dresses like Joetaro
you are so "jesus"

signifying a change in life and humanity
by wastedphotos January 23, 2020
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

Some kid i met while playing Fortnite. Quite a nice guy
by SnO-b December 15, 2020
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Share this definition