Monica defense

To avoid admitting a wrong by hair-splitting or obfuscation. Derived from Bill Clinton's redefintion of "having sex" to exclude oral copulation with Monica Lewinsky.

"My gf caught me with my pants down, so my Monica defense just wasn't a happening thing."

Monica defense by Max Debord April 21, 2007

Defective Flypaper 

When, for whatever reason (tired, drunk, hungover, preoccupied, just not understanding, etc.), someone is explaining something to you and it's just not sticking.

I seem totally unable to comprehend what was just said. I feel like defective flypaper right now.

Defective Flypaper by DarthKiljoy March 5, 2009

defensce 

A word for weird people who can't spell purpose or defense/defence (i think thats wrong).

It is a very sophisticated (world) way of saying defense/defence.
It is used to describe how awesome Aidan is.
Also used to describe pineapples spewing out.

DJ: How do you spell defense/defence?? Is it defense, or defence?
AZZ: idk just spell it as defensce im sure the teacher wont notice
DJ: aight thx also have you seen my defensceness
AZZ: wut?
DJ: *spews out pineapples
AZZ: whoaaaaa
TEACHER: Dj cOmE hErE RiGhT nOw

defensce by Rockity November 7, 2019

Offense-Defense 

The progressive stages of advancement and rejection in the make out process (Go for Boobs = Offense, Get pushed away = Defense)

Kelby: Did you score?

Pete: No, I just played offense-defense all night....

Offense-Defense by douknowchriso August 26, 2008

homo defense 

Extremely tight suffocating defense. Not allowing one to successfuly to get an advantage.

Darrelle Revis played homo defense on Ocho Cinco.

homo defense by GODLE August 14, 2011

Ingestion defense 

A reason given for a failed drug screen

When called into the manager’s office and informed of his failure to pass

a random drug screen, the Staten Island ferry worker replied in a panic stricken voice
“It’s not my test, it’s not my test.”

“What do you mean it's not your test? I’m sorry but the procedures and protocols are standard and the custody chain is valid. You failed for cocaine use,” replied the manager.

“No, no I don’t use cocaine, I was blowing Ricardo the ship yard worker and I ingested it. He does cocaine, I don’t” cried the deckhand.

“Oh, so you are claiming the ingestion defense?” asked the manager.

Ingestion defense by PEARKAY April 24, 2014

Elf Defense 

Actions taken to shield oneself from all of those cutsie elf on a shelf pictures posted on-line, and other cutsie elf pictures, or "elfies." This includes deleting said pictures, making disparaging comments about them, or posting not-so-cute pictures of an elf.

Why did you delete my elf on a shelf picture? It was Elf Defense! I'm sick of those elfies.

Elf Defense by GypsyMiss November 12, 2014