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Chronic Wanker

One who carries around with them the uncontrollable urge to have a wank. This condition makes seemingly simple outings rather difficult.
Guy1: Yo man? Have you ever noticed all the white stains on the carpets in Doug's apartment?

Guy2: Yeah man its cause he's a fucking chronic wanker.
by doubledew June 15, 2010
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wanker tank

Large SUV's driven by (riff raff), fotballers and other such common folk in London. Usually these vehicles have tinted windows and several other shiny modifications.
Look, there's John Terry in his wanker tank
by Sandenc October 16, 2006
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Phone Wanker

Someone with an overwhelming obsession with their phone, phone related apps and equipment. Someone with a new phone who is generally a boring person with nothing relevant or interesting to talk about. Someone with an aggressive need to show you their phone and tell you about its uninteresting attachments.
Look at my new phone, it has an app that comes up with interesting phone related conversation starters. Check out how much music my phone has! Why would I want to sleep with you when, instead we can talk about how much memory my phone has. I have no personality but my phone can be used as a metal detector. I am a complete Phone Wanker!
by The Scuzzy one October 28, 2010
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wankery

Often used to describe the actions of some one playing a guitar, and to a lesser extent an electric bass.

Most times, Guitar/bass wankery is when a guitarist/bassist makes excessive use of soloing and techniques such as shrills, taps, slaps & pops, slides, bends, sweeps and the like to the point where its nothing but self satisfaction.

Since such self satisfaction is often said to come from showing off to people with the talents listed above, it has become widely known amongst guitarist/bassist as Wankery.
Some douche in Guitar Center was trying to impress people with some guitar wankery.
by TvsPatrickDuffy September 19, 2005
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sleepy winkers

Goopy or dry Rheum or eye buggers that collect in the corners of eyes when the Sandman visits.
Wipe those sleepy winkers from your eyes.
by tittitkitkit August 20, 2011
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Home-Wanker

One who habitually stays home, or in places comfortable to them. A condition often accompanied by heavy marijuana use and a pale pallor. Also described as someone with an unwillingness to show up for fun stuff.
Drummer: Oh man, we need Dylan to dial in that guitar solo! Did you call him?

Pianist: Yeah, but that home-wanker won't answer! You know he's playin' x-box or something.
by Alligator Fuck Master December 17, 2009
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Left-handed spanner wanker

The opporsite of a right-handed rench tosser
by SPENCER-1975 October 19, 2009
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