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Wankentine's Day

This is the wanker's day, celebrated on Feb 14, this is similar to Valentine's Day but for persons who have no sexual partner and thus resort to wanking themselves. This is a special day of remembrance for wankers of their own status.
Bob: Hey Frank, wish you a happy Wankentine's Day

Frank: Same to you Bob.
by SantoshGeorge February 14, 2008
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Wanged

1 (adj) To be stoned, drunk or crossfaded

2 (v) To be dick slapped
1. "That guy is so wanged right now"

2. "You just got wanged motha fucka!!!!"
by KCLOL October 14, 2009
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Wankers Cramp

The most deadly of all british diseases.
Person 1 : "somebody call an ambulance this limey needs urgent medical assistance apparently he has wankers cramp"
by copy_zero August 6, 2011
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pretentious wanker

Someone whose personal self esteem is so low they need to:

a) amplify their importance (or lack thereof) by quoting their education after their names when demanding things they deem to be their right.

b) surround themselves with other persons of like ilk (other pretentious wankers) such as members of the insular academia class (see also just-another wanker)

c) confirm what a cunt they are
Letter received by court clerk regarding mediation:

"I was so insulted by the Mediator when she actually confirmed my ex husbands position and stated he had rights, in contradiction to my own confirmed opinion. (signed) E. ByGoomb Bsc Msc VD(with bar)"

Clerk of the court "Bloody hell. Another letter from the pretentious wanker, E. ByGoomb".
by Chaucer_had_it_coming February 1, 2010
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wankerchief

A hankerchief or tissue used to wipe up the semen after having a wank. It can be held over the penis acting like a condom or be used after semen is ejaculated to clean it up off the penis, stomach, floor or any other surfaces it may have splattered onto.
1. Theo keeps his wankerchief inside his top drawer just incase he wants a good wank without making a mess all over the computer screen or his keyboard.
2. Theo's mum found his wankerchief and got cum all over her hand after he had a good session of porn-watching.
by Mike_o_matic October 24, 2006
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A joke often used in the YouTube comments section, in which someone says "I switched to porn when my mom walked in, it's easier to explain."
People who use this joke think they are calling the video weird in a funny or original way, when in reality it's been plastered all over YouTube thousands of times. Someone who says this is often referred to as a faggot.
Person A: "Lol, this video is so weird I switched to porn when my mom walked in, it's easier to explain!"
Person B: "This joke has been viewed thousands of times and as such has been rendered completely humorless. I imagine even the dumbass that came up with the joke is weeping right now."
by Cleffroski January 25, 2015
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southern wanker

An opinionated gobshite who posts various derogatory definitions of people from the North of England on the Urban Dictionary website.
"That Paolo Beardini is probably just another southern wanker with a chip on his shoulder"
by Wyrm July 30, 2007
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