Self-Blumpkin Technique

The self-bumpkin technique is performed by first waiting 7-10 days without taking a shit, and then when finally shitting, curving the large feces toward you, under your balls, up from between your legs, and into your dick. You then suck the shit back in and out of your ass, repeating this movement until ejaculation. This technique results in euphoria, as well as chlamydia, herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, and syphilis. Also you may notice black discharge from the urethra 2-12 hours after performing this technique.

It is told that performing this technique 7 times can result in ascension to a higher plane of spiritual existence, however no one has survived the process more than 3 times.

“Dude, I’m about to try the self-blumpkin technique! I’m 6 days in without shitting!”

“Bro I wouldn’t do that. I tried it 4 years ago and there’s still black shit in my dick.”

by Rusted Sounding Rod April 29, 2025

Fidget Spinner Technique

When your friend Caden Spins Like a Fidget Spinner On This Dads Dick

Fidget Spinner Technique is when your friend caden spins on his dads dick.

by iiBuggzZz June 30, 2021

Peanut butter technique

A fishing technique where you put peanut butter on your toe and you put it where the fishes are most likely populated.

Im using the “peanut butter technique”

by Healthy alex July 12, 2022

Cranberry Technique

adv; to wrap dental floss around the head of a penis very tightly and then induce orgasm. Called the cranberry technique because the head of the penis resembles a cranberry oddly enough.

I tried to cranberry technique my mans last night, only ended up with half a shaft left.

by The octopoos October 1, 2016

Hannover technique

Hannover technique is a technique of loading a car onto a truck when the towing hook on the car is broken or missing.
Using this means you destroy the hood of the car, because the hook of the towing car is hooked to the hood to pull the car up the ramp.

This Is a better alternative that connecting the hook to the axle, because that would wear down the cable.

Jonas: Oh Jennifer's car broke down? How did they tow it? I thought her towing hook was broken.

Manuela: oh yes it is broken. They used the Hannover technique.

Jonas: doesn't that destroy the hood?

Manuela: oh yes it does. You should've seen it

by MrSnapli94 September 12, 2020

The Dong technique

The art of the dong. Known only to the most sophisticated of human beings. Of the highest order. Just reading this you question your existence for not knowing this art.

Man 1-Have you heard of The Dong Technique?
Man 2-What’s that?
Man 1-I see...

by TheManOfDong July 21, 2019

Technique

"If it's a 'Technique' it's a lie... And one of the techniques I use is *blank* but it's 'true' when I do it." Dr. Jordan Peterson

Hym "If it's a 'Technique' it's a lie.... Unless you're the one using the technique then it's not. Fantastic. It's funny that that's how 'the structure of reality' works. Using techniques makes you a liar... But then you accidentally outline a technique that YOU USE.... And then you give yourself a caveat because I was correct. There's always a caveat. YOU are never the bad guy. You're never a liar. Because when you lie it's not a lie. When I tell the truth... It isn't the truth. Ha! Hahaha! It's hilarious! You just don't survive in a place where everyone isn't retards you can swindle. That's why the recession into solipsism. Put up a fence around your little retard farm and then siphon off as much resources as you can... Die... Give it to your kids... So they don't have to to work as hard as everyone else. You sell hard work (in abstraction) to people... So you and your kids can work less hard. That's the entire game.

by Hym Iam February 23, 2024