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Two Can Van Damme

Alt: Two Can Jackie Chan

A rather embarrassing (for friends present who are sober / can handle their drink) and woeful condition in which the sufferer changes from a passive to an aggressive personality type having consumed a couple of pints of piss weak lager. The afflicted light weight can be regularly observed in bars and clubs, squaring up to people who are considerably taller, stronger and more adept at martial arts than they are. These 'confrontations' inevitably lead to the 'Two Can' Action Man receiving a swift kicking, necessitating an equally predictable detour to a casualty department. Also seen on execrable Police based TV documentaries adopting unconvincing martial arts poses, a la Karate Kid, in front of bored Police Officers. Just who are you trying to fool? The Police will tazer and break you!!!
Mate 1: Jim's been to hospital again!
Mate 2: Yeah the twat! He was round at mine and had two cans of Stella. Next thing you know he tried to chop a brick in half with his hand.
Mate 1: Not as bad as the time he spent two weeks in traction after he had two glasses of cider, decided he was hard and nutted that bouncer in the chest....What a Two Can Van Damme.
by TheFoolOnTheHillAnarchy October 20, 2012
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Making the Two-Backed Beast

"Dude, I spent Saturday night making the two-backed beast with Alicia."
by DaHolmes February 22, 2023
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i got two phones

typically used by men to express they don’t care
person 1: “i don’t like short boys”
person 2: “I GOT TWO PHONES 🔥🔥🗣️🗣️‼️‼️
by luhvtuls October 2, 2023
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Two asses in one underwear

When two people are always seen together
Helmi and Elli are two asses in one underwear
by Thimthim June 21, 2020
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Two Bowls and One Plate

What did you think this was?
Its just what it says it is.
he had two bowls and one plate
by scumbagmccornman June 15, 2018
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Two vs One Rule

When a group of 3 friends make a contrasting decision, the side that has 2 votes wins, no matter what. If the loser becomes frustrated then the victors have the rate to state “Two vs One Rule”.
Iefan wants to go to the store, Adam and Jack want to go to the park. Jack and Adam both state “Two vs One Rule” which settles the dispute.
by Waffle_Iron_McGee May 28, 2018
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Used to describe someone who looks as if they possess lower than average intelligence can be male or female of any age – usually found in clapped out Novas around McDonalds car parks and council estates. Can be combined with many other insults -

WARNING – If using insult directly to face – please remember they will not understand the word chromosome – or the word two –

See mouth breather
“Christ! – Look at the mouth breather in the Elisabeth Duke Clown necklace – she looks two chromosomes short of hillbilly”
by Andy The Great July 21, 2003
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