boner control

An action or mental tactic used to suppress a raging erection: most commonly used to prolong intercourse, or hide a boner in public.

As I lay next to Lori, exhausted and carefree, I reluctantly shared the secret to my long lasting lovemaking: the haunting image of Sheila running down the high school halls; her hands cupped behind her pants, her face contorted in helpless submission, her frizzled hair dewey with perspiration, her animal-like wild shrieking, and her frantic and fervid, yet continually unsuccessful attempts to find a bathroom before tragedy struck: yes, you could make a strong case I had more boner control than everyone besides Matthew Broderick.

by nate doggy dizz April 4, 2012

Boner Chivalry

The social behavioral event where the laziest, most careless, and most repugnant man in the room suddenly has morals and a desire to fight for the rights of others — originating from his forlorn aspiration of obtaining sexual intercourse from the woman he suddenly wants to defend.

“Don really went to bat for Karen over that whole bookface post where people called her out for being a furry. What a guy!” “Dude, it’s just boner chivalry. He will go back to breathing heavily at her photos once she shuts him down.”

by Clanger77 May 7, 2019

granny boner

a weak, unerected, possibly wrinkley and pruney boner.

Boy: alright im ready, go down on me chick
*girl goes down and starts doin her thing*
Girl: wait you have a granny boner
Boy: ah shit i was in the shower too long

by mer&shon March 10, 2012

Why Not Boner

That moment when you know you should have an erect penis but don't for one reason or another be it known or unknown and it makes you angry.

I can't get hard for this girl because she has a boyfriend. FUCK! Let me go make some shit up for the urban dictionary. "Why boner" is when you're confused and horny. I'll call this the "why not boner".

by Dang it, Bobby! January 3, 2019

Faux Boner

A condition caused by a prominent, upward fold of fabric, occurring in the front of pleated slacks when sitting.

John sat down and stood up repeatedly in an effort to convince Susan that it was a faux boner she observed during the morning office meeting, and not the real thing caused by Meg, the hot new secretary.

by richippr September 23, 2013

turtle boner

A small boner that hasent yet developed into a real boner. Most often disappoints the dirty whore who's putting her lips on it.

Maggie's man toy had a pathetic, weak, little turtle boner cause he's a faggot

by McNogger November 30, 2013

Buzz-Boner

Buzz-Boner refers to the amount of buzz in a certain place . If a buzz-boner is on a flop then the place is not fun ; e.g. Church or a Retirement home . If you have a stiff Buzz-Boner you are at sweet house party or a good club .

Person 1 : Man , how was the party last night .

Person 2 : It was shit , some dude got sick on my pooltable and put my Buzz-Boner on a flop .

Person 1 : What a fucking fun-sponge .
Person 2 : Yeah I know right .

by Andrew1134 May 7, 2009