dicks like jesus

When your dick is as awesome as Jesus.

My dick plays on the double feature screen, your dick went straight to DVD. We got dicks like Jesus

by wegottalettheworldknow June 26, 2008

Wait-for-Jesus Body

When a girl is so hot, your literally willing to go through 2-3 years of sex free courtship and marriage just to have sex with her.

Man Dave, do you really think Megan has a Wait-for-Jesus body? Haven't you been dating that chick for a year without so much as a drunken handjob?

by fupa-hunter April 24, 2010

baby jesus poops

When you have to poop so bad that you feel that you are about to give birth to an immaculate conception. The poops often resemble pop corn shrimp, or little baby jesus' swaddled in little blankets.

After I ate all of that food I had a case of the baby jesus poops!

by BEJ0124 April 16, 2011

Jesus Suffering Fuck

Scottish saying in agression

*hits had with hammer by accident* JESUS....SUFFERING...FUCK

by Russell November 18, 2003

jesus spot

the best parking spot you could possibly get, in relation to where you are headed.


(often located right next to handicapped spots)

Driver: gosh, there are NO parking spots open...
Passenger: wait! I think I see a jesus spot!!
Driver: SCORE.

by Nella Granback April 27, 2008

yall need jesus

when someone is so stupid they need jesus to help guide their ways

I had to tell this guy rahim yall need jesus because he was so stupid

by aolifie June 06, 2014

jesus cunting christ

A wonderfully profane thing to yell when you are extremely angry, with an emphasis on the final word (as demonstrated in the example below).

Jesus cunting CHRIST, Tim!! Did you really have to go drop that giant 127 lb. anvil on my foot??

by tiny cheeseburger December 31, 2006