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Don't Touch The Poop

Don't Touch The Poop is a term used amongst followers of Lolcows like Chris Chan, Cyraxx and Daniel Larson as a golden rule of sorts when it comes to their antics online. The act itself is referred to as "Poop Touching" and the people who often engage in Poop Touching are considered Weens

The phrase means to avoid interacting or any other kind of engagement with Lolcows as it usually doesn't result in the reaction you are looking for and more than likely it will also have some sort of negative consequence such as being doxed by more efficient trolls or by the Lolcow themselves.
Person 1: "Yo I'm gonna DM Cyraxx and tell him I'm a girl that thinks he's hot! Won't that be so funny?!"

Person 2: "Thats a stupid fucking idea dude. Don't touch the poop."
by kfc_manager__ May 15, 2025
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Don't touch my pizza

The most cancerous and horrendous song/music video to ever exist that (to nobody's surprise) has received a shitload of dislikes. This abomination of a meme is so remarkably shit, it has spawned an entire internet subculture of cringe and mental retardation.
Dumbass retard: Don't touch my pizza, don't touch my jelly
Everyone: Do the world a favor and shut the fuck up will ya?!
by literal asshole May 25, 2025
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Low Taper Touch

The act of touching somebody with the tip of a writing utensil after licking it.
by cry0n1s1s May 25, 2025
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《.7.9.7.6.》Touchez, touChez, toucheZ《.7.9.7.6.》

《.7.9.7.6.》Touchez, touChez, toucheZ《.7.9.7.6.》
《.7.9.7.6.》Touchez, touChez, toucheZ《.7.9.7.6.》
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The Hamburglar Touch

After giving a facial, the man goes to “grab a towel”. The man proceeds to ransack the kitchen of booze and deli meats, then make for the nearest exit.
There’s a bunch of wine in the fridge, I hit this divorcee with the hamburglar touch the other night.
by Filthyrandall November 2, 2025
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The septic touch

An act where you refrain from wiping for a week, when your rear is nice and crusted you cover your hand in the feces and begin to jerk off.
Yeah man I did the septic touch and now my shlong is green.
by The hugaba December 19, 2025
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