Pokey bum wank

Pokey bum wanking

I had the best pokey bum wank ever but my fingers really smell after

by Pauls Logic November 2, 2020

Butt Naked Wank

When you have the house all to yourself and crank the hog totally butt ass naked

Cuh u haven’t had a butt naked wank??? Ur missing out

by Milf Hunter Jit November 16, 2023

(wank spanners basatoradorial fuck custard)

an ultimate cunt who should be liquidised into thalidomide wank oil and festering decomposed spunk

((wank spanners basatoradorial fuck custard) a third dan black belt shit house and fuck custard who should be stir fried in hot synthetic Kentucky fried dog shit after being arse fucked by a bisexual octopus, while his balls are steamed cleaned in hot camels piss. a), a mark five cunt with power steering and overdrive.

by bucket crutch 2 April 20, 2022

Swedish Crab Wank

When someone is wanking off or getting wanked off by someone else and their foreskin rips off while doing so.

Megan: “I gave him a Swedish Crab Wank”

by RicoIsNonce August 25, 2023

Crazy Wank

The act of viciously masturbating fully naked for over 5 minutes. Throughout the process the subject uses his hand to stroke his penis to near ejaculation, then the subject relaxes for a bit. Then the subject continued to slightly stroke his penis and then he uses a sex toy (store bought or hand made) and places it in a position where it won't move around a lot and the subject viciously fucks the sex toy until near ejaculation. Then the subject is free to experiment with unusual kinds of sexual acts (ex: finger in the bum, other masturbation teqniques, other kinky fetishs). Then once the subject is satisfied withhimself and ready to ejaculate, he must use up the rest of the lube on his penis and hands, and then it is time for the last hurrah. The subject firmly grasps his penis and then he strokes it much faster and harder and it should give the individual a sensation of both mild pain and crazy erotic pleasure. The individual moans to make the procedure much more impactful and when he reaches the climax, the procedure is complete.

Carl: bro I just haven't jacked off at all recently. I'm just not into it anymore

Eddie: last night I had a CRAZY WANK and I will tell you, I changed my life!

by Derkadurr August 5, 2017

Wanking the dog

To waste time doing something unecessary.

Example: Gary got fired for wanking the dog.

by PotsNPan July 16, 2021

Schizo-Wank

Jacking off to a person/character that you’ve made up in your head.

Guy 1: How you doing man?

Guy 2: Not good my man. I’m such a fucking loser virgin that I just had a Schizo-Wank.

Guy 1: Damn you’re down bad man.

Guy 2: Yeah it’s a lonely world man.

by AutonomicAutist July 9, 2024