Wank Stain Of A Bastard

When calling someone either a wank stain or the offspring of a bastard child isn't formal enough.

Bob: "Fuck you Steve!"
Steve: "How about you intercourse yourself you wank stain of a bastard."
Bob:

by Cephalon Alcatraz June 15, 2020

Wank Jam

The inevitable product of a 5 knuckle shuffle.

Delicious jam or preservative made with the bi-product of spanking the monkey

"Stroked the salami last night and got wank jam everywhere"

"Do we have anything to put on toast?"
"Just a bit of wank jam left in the cupboard."

"Spilled so much wank jam In my gfs mouth she went full angry on me!"

by Kik455 April 8, 2022

sand wank

When a male pleasure's oneself by using sandpaper between their palms and member.

"Jimmy did a sand wank as she wanted to know what a 90 year old lady would feel like during sex"

by GollumBoy September 10, 2016

Test Wank

The act of checking the captain is awake after having a skin full. Usually in a pub toilet.

The good lady wife says I'm on a promise and I've had 8 gins. I'm off for a test wank

by Paul A Radcliffe May 23, 2023

Wank Stain

The term of endearment used to describe the well know Ian Kelly.

Ian Kelly is such a wank stain and that is why he is so well liked

by Skippydo December 5, 2024

absolutely wanked

A term used to mean 'drunk' used accidentally as opposed to 'absolutely wankered' when someone is trying to describe their state of drunkness... whilst drunk.

"Ere Billy come up mine tonight pal, yeah?"
"Sos m8 absolutely wanked on pimms ygm lad"

by FuckinBlazeItM8 October 29, 2015

Wank

when a british person masterbates they call it a wank

"Alright im going to have a wank"

by bigfatwank July 17, 2022