A sexual act involving at least one person with a penis in which the performer engages the penis in an act of oral sex until the penis is sufficiently erect. At which point a full mug of freshly brewed hot chocolate is poured upon the erect penis after being promptly removed from the performer's mouth. This is then followed by excessive striking upon the erect penis in an aggressive slapping motion.
Guy 1: Hey bro, how'd your date go?
Guy 2: It was wild dude, we went back to her place and she gave me a slappy alaskan!
Guy 1: Awesome bro! How'd it feel?
Guy 2: Fucking terrible dude! I have third degree burns and bruises all over my dick and balls!
Guy 1: That's bogus dude, totally un-radical.
Guy 2: It was wild dude, we went back to her place and she gave me a slappy alaskan!
Guy 1: Awesome bro! How'd it feel?
Guy 2: Fucking terrible dude! I have third degree burns and bruises all over my dick and balls!
Guy 1: That's bogus dude, totally un-radical.
by Fapples December 06, 2022
The act of finding a solid floor(tile, cement, etc.) and proceeding to get into a crabwalk like stance and taking a shit on the floor and rubbing it around(in a circular motion like Spongebob bringing it around town) with your buttocks.
“Dude, did you see what Paul did at the party yesterday”.
“No, what’d he do”.
“This dude dropped his fucking pants and did The Alaskan Crabwalk”.
“No, what’d he do”.
“This dude dropped his fucking pants and did The Alaskan Crabwalk”.
by definitely_not_nave April 15, 2018
the act of orgasming on a partner's face who has bad acne in sub-freezing conditions such that the semen freezes instantly on the face, resembling the cheese and pepperoni on a pizza
by NaCL Words September 16, 2021
“Dude, why does Kaleb smell so bad??”
“You didn’t know? He’s got one of them Alaskan Uncrustables.”
“We should get Kaleb a bidet.”
“You didn’t know? He’s got one of them Alaskan Uncrustables.”
“We should get Kaleb a bidet.”
by SylverZephyr March 14, 2022
Having to blow a straw full of cocaine into a woman's butt and having her fart, while sniffing the air to get high.
Rusty did the Alaskan Narwhal in that bitches ass and when she farted he sniffed the air to get a buzz
by Derek Alaskan Strickland December 02, 2019
by Zman84 November 20, 2016
When ones partner positions themselves on all fours, and the other partner smears cocaine on an enflamed hemorrhoid until it numbs. After losing total feeling in the sphincter nugget, the partner proceeds to bite down on the snow coated bulge until it explodes in his/her mouth.
I went to 18th street and asked a hooker how much would an Alaskan Volcano cost. After explaining what it was, the hooker said about tree fiddy.
by Blame The Clown February 20, 2018