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Schlongscicle

When a man walks outside on a frigid night, and his dick becomes so cold that it freezes. It was first discovered by Tenzing Norgay when he climbed Mt. Everest.
Wooo! Dan do not go outside unless you want to get a schlongscicle!
by Shlongscicle February 9, 2021
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Schlong McDong

a massive cock that requires special pants to contain its sheer power and girth
"Ayo you see Tyler over there? He's packin a real schlong mcdong"
by Xeno486 April 20, 2021
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schlongwallop

To strike anything and anyone, but especially the face of a sexual partner or as a punitive or compensatory action subordinate, with one's penis. Typically (but not exclusively) achieved with a semi-erect to erect penis, held to one side and then released to execute a springing action. The success of a schlongwallop is generally measured by the resulting smack; indeed the sheer force of a good schlongwalloping is what sets a schlongwallop apart from a simple dick slap, and (possibly apocryphal) at least one veteran schlongwalloper claims to have rendered a victim unconscious with his best wallop.

In some American states such as Minnesota (but never Iowa), men possessing unusually large penises may alternatively achieve a successful schlongwallop simply by twisting the torso, or even engaging in an extended spin of adequate duration to strike multiple targets (a "spinning schlongwallop"). Another variation - considered by some aficionados to be a completely separate maneuver - is the linear schlongwallop, wherein a penis is extended perpendicular to the direction of travel, e.g. outside of a bus window or while prancing sideways.

When announced in advance but with no target indicated, a schlongwalloping is understood to be directed at the closest person's face.
1) $7?! If this isn't the best fucking caramel macchiato ever, I'm going to schlongwallop everyone in here.

2) Yesterday my ex-girlfriend complained that when she woke up I was sporking her, so this morning she woke up to a good schlongwalloping right in her resting douche face. Bye Felicia.

3) Other than losing that testicle at the car wash, my friend Reb has all the luck. The first time he stuck his dick out the subway train window it overshot the station and he schlongwalloped like thirty people before anyone knew what was happening. And then he got a penis enlargement so now he goes out at night and fires off knuckle children all over the mushroom stamp print and artist's rendition posters the cops put up while yelling "bust this!"

4) Did you know Reb once went to Comic-Con dressed as Spongebob Squarepants? Here's the thing: he was upside-down, walking on his hands the whole time. His dick was the nose and his lucky testicle was one of the eyes. Everybody thought he was just being affectionate with all the eskimo kisses. They'll never catch that guy … at least not for the Con Ball-Up Schlongwallop of 2019.
by schlongwalloper January 18, 2022
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Schlongacon

A jeep that is built into an over the top off road machine. Its not just a rubicon...it has been embedder with very essence of its owners masculinity (even if its owner is female). This is a jeep version of a penis car. It wins all pissing contests. Said jeep will usually include, massive lift, giant tires, modified sway bars, skid plates for everything, rock sliders, steel bumpers, ultra low gearing, bead locks, a large winch, hi performance motor mods including v8 conversions, superchargers, and turbos. Likely also includes onboard air, extra parts and tools in storage areas. Often covered in trail badges and trail stickers

These Jeeps are often prime targets for Ducking
That jeep is a real schlongacon.
by Capt_Zoom March 1, 2022
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Schlongest

Like a schlong, but longer. Clearly superior over the better known terms 'schlong', 'schlort', and 'schledium', the Schlongest is the schlongest schlong around. Common people that have this size of pp are often named 'Vick', 'Alohi', 'Ozzy', or 'Bryson'.
"Hey look did you see Bryson that other day"

"Yeah man he had such a big schlongest it crushed the entire building'
by Schlong Man (tm) May 9, 2022
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schmangles

The type of disease found in men who don’t talk to women. The first and only case was found in Armadildo, a canadian SSBU gaymer who has no life. Please find some bitches and stop simping over Lucario you fucking furry.
“You know Armadillo? The best Lucario player in the world?”

Yeah what happened?”

“He died of SCHMANGLES!!!”
by pmart1505 June 9, 2022
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Sausage schlong

The act of taking a condom, pooping inside of it and tying it shut, and then using it for insertive pleasure. Can also be frozen for a harder feel
Melissa told me that she used a sausage schlong last night since her boyfriend is out of town.
by EdgyMeemStar January 22, 2018
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