External Penile Fixation

A condition where one is so fucking obsessed with making comments and/or jokes relating to size of their friends penis (which they've never actually seen) until all they can think of is creating new jokes and staying up late at night on Urban Dictionary to create new jokes relating to that friends penis. Currently a cure has not been found, but rumor has it a good dose of maturity might be the trick

Kyle: Dude, why does Aki always talk about DJ's dick all the time?

Brandon: Hmm, I don't know. Probably external penile fixation...or he's gay. either way it's fucking weird.

by Disc Jockey October 14, 2009

United Penile Service

Employer of all Malemen, who seeks to deliver males to other men worldwide.

Roberto- Hey, Jimmy, I wanna work for the United Penile Service and become a maleman

Jimmy- Wait, doesn't that mean you'll deliver men to other guys?!

Roberto- Yes, it most certainly does

Jimmy- Then I must be your first customer!

Roberto- Thank you sweety, let me give you an orguysm

Jimmy- yay i get to be your buttstove

by Father EEP January 18, 2008

inter departmental penile implant

when your boss is transferred to another department, and the replacement is some hack you used to have seniority over, hence making your job a living hell.

i ca'nt believe they made that choad eater my boss. he does'nt know his head from a hole in the ground. i sure as hell wo'nt listen to that inter departmental penile implant. what a bunch of cocksmunch's!

by freedav05 January 9, 2007

penile attention deficit disorder (padd)

A penis that has a short attention span that deflates before business is fully conducted.

When asked for an explanation from his wife as to why he didn't complete the sex act, the husband replied "I've been diagnosed with penile attention deficit disorder (PADD)."

by Xander913 January 7, 2014

penile distraction

when you are working/doing something and someone walks up to you with hard wood. Then you turn and are astounded by the massive wang so you can't go back to work.

while working on my test my teacher, John Madden, stuck out his massive wand and caused me to be in the event of penile distraction.

by cacabutt123 June 13, 2014

penile decrepitude

Very similar to senile decrepitude only its not your brain that is soft.
Similar to whiskey dick.
A serious softening of the penis.
Impotence.

Hey man what is wrong with me?!?!?! Not even that wild ass HOT red head could get me hard last night. I must be getting old or something...

No man it was all that tequila you drank.
Yea but she was SO HOT... and she sat on my face for a half hour and nothing...
Wow dude you must have penile decrepitude setting in.

by word jockey September 8, 2013

penile grease

The white slimy substance that is ejaculated out of the male genitalia at the point of climax, whether alone or with a partner.

“Im gonna spread my penile grease on your face”

by Funkfish February 21, 2018