crunchy muffin

A semen-crusted vagina the morning after sex and no shower.

I went down on my girl this morning but forgot she had a crunchy muffin.

by mohawkslim November 13, 2014

crunchy blowjob

A blowjob with teeth

guy: Hey bro how was your night

guy2: Pretty good i got a crunchy blowjob

by Fac3.XEX March 14, 2019

crunchy asshole

A nasty and abnormally crisp anus as a result of a variety of things (toilet paper, shit, hair, etc.). Use "crunchy asshole" when fuck just won't cut it.

You fucking crunchy asshole.
That shit's nastier than a crunchy asshole.
This is fucking worse than eating out a crunchy asshole.

by angryelephant March 5, 2019

Crunchy Isolation

When you eat something crunchy and it's so loud in your head that you are unable to hear what anyone around you is saying. This may be intentionally used as a manner of shutting out the world or simply an unfortunate consequence of cacophonous cuisine.

Teacher: "Can you answer this question?"
Student: "My apologies, I was in the throes of crunchy isolation. What was your question again?"
Teacher: "Who wrote Fed 51?"
Student: "Maybe I should have stayed in my crunchy isolation..."

by f091993 November 20, 2010

cow-crunchy

n. An old, dried cow-pie. Often used in exclamations.

Holy cow-crunchies!

by Cattle March 11, 2003

Crunchy Mike

not smooth, not dirty, NOT silky. Just fuckin CRUNCHY.

Crunchy Mike is the one sketchball that you see walkin around the run down porn stores in yo hood.

by Ciggie Bone April 24, 2009

Crunchy Mom

Crunchy mom is the new term for a modern day Karen. Crunchy moms let their kids eat rocks and dirt and ignore any form of science. They use the term crunchy as a way to justify shaming other mothers who don’t do things that they like such as formula feeding or caring about safe sleep.

Did you hear about Alice? She’s “ crunchy “she said I can let my kid eat rocks because it’s good for him!! She definitely didn’t get a medical degree from google.

Crunchy mom: a mom who is a bitch

by omgsocrunchy November 2, 2021