Maria Withdrawal

A condition caused by prolonged absence from a woman named Maria. Typical symptoms include loss of appetite, loss of motivation, mood swings, insomnia, and frequent texting to Maria. Symptoms appear within 2-3 days of separation and worsen as the lack of Maria persists.

Symptoms are more severe when the Maria you know is smart, beautiful, athletic, and you share an emotional connection.

Typically a lifelong condition. The only treatment is to spend time with Maria again.

My world feels incomplete. I’m demotivated. I can’t even focus on simple tasks. I think I’m beginning to develop Maria Withdrawal, because I have not seen her in over a week.

by LivingWithReality August 21, 2022

Colleen Withdrawals

When the girl of your dreams is named Colleen, and you haven't seen her for a while.

"Dang! It's been a week since I've seen her and I'm getting the shakes.., I think I'm having Colleen Withdrawals"

by Tellio March 1, 2022

Kiri withdrawal

The feeling of absence of a friend named kiri when she goes from for the holidays and your apartment is empty.

I am experiencing a kiri withdrawal.

by anonymous December 29, 2021

party withdrawal

When you haven’t been to a party in a few weeks and are missing that thrill. You’re going through withdrawal symptoms.

“Dude we gotta find a funky this weekend I’m going through party withdrawal”

by kelly_08 March 23, 2022

Withdrawal

Hey that whole episode sounds familiar! It sounds just like the schizophrenia you’re trying to impose on me. Neat. It’s almost like that’s by design.

Hym “That ‘You did this to yourself’ stuff you keep saying is exactly what a narcissist would say. I’d say it’s pretty good evidence of the assertion I made about parent’s attachment to their kids being narcissistic in nature. That and the rhetoric surrounding it. ‘What I did what sacred and by “what I did” I mean “get fucked and shit out a little me’” and what I mean by “sacred” is that the little me is “the image of God” and what I mean by the “image of God” is “myself” and I mean “myself” because I’m a fucking narcissist.’ That’s crazy.

That’s being a crazy batshit narcissist IN SPITE of the fact that you’re nested within a hierarchy of bullshit. And you’re imposing ‘withdrawal’ on people and it looks like (from what Saad Gaad was saying) that you’re doing it to Sam Harris now too. Yep... I’ve destroyed you all and ushered in a new era of psychic totalitarianism. And your kids will live under it forever. Which is great! It’s probably the only thing worse than fucking them in the butthole like a Catholic priest of shooting them in the face. I’ve taken their free will. And you were happy to give it to me. Because they don’t need it. They’re YOUR kids and you want them to be a good little Jew or whatever. Ha! Hahaha! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!! HA! I’m sorry. I can’t help but laugh... It’s... It’s the best goddamn joke ever written! This is going to be great! Really! If I accidentally tip the scales too far and end up in hell, I can guarantee I’m going to be the favorite. Which is going to be dope because then I’ll just be able to walk right out, kill God, fix reality, and then do what I was going to do either way.”

by Hym Iam November 30, 2022

Sherri Withdrawal Syndrome

This is what happens when the Canoe Girl leaves you hanging and goes to watch a parade.

I couldn't go with her and I got Sherri Withdrawal Syndrome real bad.

by Humpy Gilmore September 26, 2025

Cooties withdrawal

When you receive cooties and your body becomes addicted. The only way to survive is to continue allowing a steady flow of cooties.

"Damn, I've been feeling sick lately." "Bro, you've got cooties withdrawal."

by Picholas February 5, 2018